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Jennifer Wolf

Resolve Conflicts With the "Bugs & Wishes" Method

By March 9, 2014

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Are you tired of hearing your kids argue with one another? As difficult as it is tolerate their bickering, sibling relationships provide a great opportunity to practice conflict resolution skills. So instead of interrupting your kids and resolving their conflicts for them (which only teaches them to fight more in order to see which child you'll side with), teach your children to resolve conflicts themselves with the "Bugs & Wishes" method.

Two kids are fighting over a video game controller.

This is a technique I learned from my daughter's preschool teacher, and we've been using it ever since. When she gets annoyed at her brother, she says "It bugs me when you... (change the channel while I'm watching TV, etc.) and I wish you would... (wait until my turn is over)."

It's a technique that's so simple, even young kids can use it. And once they get comfortable using the "Bugs & Wishes" strategy at home, they'll be able to use it at school, too, to stand up for themselves among their peers.

More Help for Kids Dealing With Conflict:

Photo Jack Hollingsworth/Getty Images

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May 14, 2014 at 10:41 pm
(1) Karen Scheuer says:

I saw your “bug and a wish” blog; Here is an adorable book to teach the concept of a bug and a wish

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