As a single parent, you can't always count on having someone nearby to bounce ideas off of when you need to discipline your kids. Instead, you have to be on your toes constantly... Ready to enforce a rule or dole out a consequence at a moment's notice, with no back-up whatsoever.

Do you ever feel like you're in a rut, though, when it comes to discipline strategies? You know, when time out doesn't seem to be working any more, and yelling... (Well, you realized a while ago that yelling wasn't really working, either.) So what do you do?

Fortunately, there are lots of different, and effective, ways to influence your kids behavior. So if the strategy you used in the past isn't working any more, pull a different discipline tactic out of your "parenting toolbox."

And when you find something that seems to work especially well, share it! Tell us what you've done that seemed to really get through to your kids and change their behavior or decision making for the better by leaving a comment below.

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For Mother's Day, I though it would be fun to share a "round-up" of thoughts on how to handle this particular holiday as a single mom.

Rebecca Eckler, who writes for www.globeandmail.com, wrote an interesting article titled Get What You Want This Mother's Day. Twist the Ex's Arm. If you can get beyond the idea of Eckler posing as her child to ask her ex for Mother's Day gift money, you'll read several encouraging stories about single moms whose perspective on Mother's Day has made it one of the most joyful times of the year.

Rachel Sarah, who writes www.singlemomseeking.com, shares memories of her first-ever Mother's Day as a single mom, and invites readers to share their own plans for Mother's Day in the post Single Moms: How are You Celebrating This Mother's Day?

Catie Hayes, who writes for www.singlerose.com, has some great suggestions for honoring Mother's Day, as well, such as enlisting the help of a friend or arranging for a gift swap with other families, in her article A Single Mom's Mother's Day Survival Kit.

How about you? What is something that you're planning to do this year, or that you've done in the past, that has helped to make Mother's Day particularly special for you?

Additional Mother's Day Resources:

• Mother's Day Celebrations for Single Moms
• Mother's Day Gifts Every Single Mother Wants
• Planning Your Perfect Day
• Coping With Mother's Day When Mom is Absent

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Did you know that Single Parents at About.com is more than a source of information on every aspect of single parenting?

We're also an online community, where you can participate by posting your thoughts in the forum, commenting on blog posts, submitting articles, and asking questions. For a run down of all we have to offer, check out the new Single Parents Online Community page.

In addition, let us know what is most important to you, personally, by participating in this week's poll.

Related:
Participate in the "All About Parenting Blog Carnival"

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As a solo parent, you set the tone in your home. That's true whether we're talking about getting up on time in the morning, or coping with the most difficult circumstances you've ever been faced with. Your kids learn more from what they see in your behavior than from anything you say to them directly.

When it comes to divorce, though, many parents wonder how they can best help their kids cope.

For one thing, remember that each child and each family situation is different. Don't assume that since talking it out is helpful to your older child, that your younger child would just naturally feel better, too, if only you could get him to express his feelings. I believe that it's just as important that you respect your children's space while they come to grips with this news, as it is that you remain continually available to them, should they want to talk. There's something to be said for striking a balance between encouraging your kids to open up and just quietly being there for them without forcing them to talk about it before they're ready.

At the same time, taking care of your own needs is also crucial. When you force yourself over and over again to suppress your own emotions for the sake of your kids, you're setting yourself up to either explode or seriously delay your own healing. What I recommend is that you find one or two close friends or family members who can serve as your support system at this time, and make sure that you get together with them often to vent how you're feeling. (Our forum is also a great place to get that kind of stuff out of your system.) When you give yourself that opportunity to purge some of those feelings of anger and resentment on a regular basis, you'll find that you're better able to be patient with your kids and not disclose to them the degree of your own frustration with the other parent.

For more tips on how to help your kids deal with the aftermath of your separation or divorce, read the article How Parents Can Help Their Children Cope With Divorce.

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It's nice when someone recognizes the hard work you're doing as a single parent, isn't it? Whether it's family, friends, or your kids' teachers, it's just nice to have someone say, "Hey, you're doing a really great job, and I just wanted to tell you that I noticed."

It feels a little weird to do that for yourself, though, doesn't it? But so many times, if you don't acknowledge your own effort, no one else does, either.

I'm telling you this because I want to encourage you not to ignore Mother's Day. If you're a single mom, don't wait around for someone else to "get it" or for your kids to be old enough to acknowledge the holiday on their own. Go ahead and celebrate it for yourself, in recognition of all the ways you've grown into a better parent since that very first day your baby was placed into your arms.

And if you're a single dad reading this, I want you to do the same for Father's Day next month. Don't be shy about giving yourself credit!

If you're not sure where to begin, start with the article Mother's Day Celebrations for Single Moms: Making the Day Special, Even When it's All Up to You.

In addition, if giving yourself a "pat on the back" for the great work you're doing with your kids feels a little foreign to you, I'd recommend signing up for our Guided Journal E-course. Each day for thirty days, you'll receive an E-mail with a different journal question designed to help you recognize your unique parenting strengths.

Read the Journal Questions: Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4

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I came across a great article this month in the online version of ADDitude magazine, a publication for those living with the ramifications of Attention Deficit Disorder and learning disabilities. The article is titled "Single Parents: How to Raise ADHD Children – Alone."

Now, believe me, I know not every single mom or single dad reading this is raising a child with ADHD (despite the frustrating and unfounded implications you may have heard at your child's last parent-teacher conference, right?). But I found the suggestions included in the article to be so practical and applicable, that I wanted to share it with all of you.

One of my favorite points in the article was when the writer, John Taylor, Ph. D., suggested triggering your child's "love reset" button by spending some quality time together. He specifically suggested that you aim for time that is "child-oriented" and includes "high-quality interaction between the two of you." To achieve that, talk with your child about what he or she would like your time together to look like, and consider activities that would be particularly meaningful from your child's perspective.

Visit ADDitude magazine online to read the entire article.

Related:

• How to Refer Your Child for Special Education Testing
• 22 Ways to Tell Your Child "I Love You"
• Love Notes for Special Parents

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"It gets better" is a phrase I frequently see our readers sharing with one another in the Single Parents Forum. Personally, I think it's really encouraging to see moms and dads, alike, taking the time to support one another in this way!

However, the speed at which individuals overcome the loss and disappointment associated with being thrust - for the most part, completely unexpectedly - into single parenthood is different for everyone. The general consensus seems to be that surviving the first year is the most difficult.

How about you? When did you first begin to feel like things were getting easier?

Let us know by participating in this week's poll or leaving a comment below.

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A lot of parents have to deal with times when their kids are angry. For example, they're sulking because you said "No," or they're taking out on you the frustration of unresolved school or relationship issues, or they're just testing out your reaction to the latest "fresh talk." Some of this is typical as kids - especially preteens - begin to gain some independence and separate from you.

However, as a single parent, it can be especially difficult to deal with your child's anger. After all, it may very well feel like you are your child's only target for expelling these intense emotions. In addition, you may worry a great deal about whether your solo status - stemming from a divorce or your decision not to marry - is connected to or causing the anger.

One way to deal with it is to separate yourself a bit from the situation and try not to take your child's anger so personally. This requires a lot of patience and the ability to look beyond what you're seeing and hearing to uncover why your child is reacting so strongly.

Ultimately, though, no matter what the true source of your child's anger is, you need to deal with it in ways that are healthy and productive. In fact, in this way, you are actually modeling for your child how to deal with anger! For tips on how to cope with your child's anger, read the full article 5 Ways to Help Your Angry Child.

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A single dad in our forum asks: Can a non-custodial parent do anything when we're denied visitation, aside from keeping track of it and filing police reports to be used in court? My ex-wife is saying that, due to the living conditions at my house, she is not going to allow my children to come see me anymore. The living conditions she's unhappy with are that they have to shower at my house (because I don't have a bathtub), and I don't have a bedroom set aside for just them (my daughter sleeps on her Dora inflatable on the floor, which she loves; and my son, who is almost 2, sleeps with me).

Jen's response: I would definitely keep good records and speak with your lawyer. In addition, try to communicate with your ex-wife about your parenting goals for the kids' visits. Communicate to her that the sleeping situation is temporary, and ask whether there is anything you can do to put her mind at ease concerning the children's safety.

For example, you could put a bed railing on the bed to prevent your toddler son from rolling over and falling out. (If you don't have one already, try using Freecycle to see if you can find one for free.) Also, consider making a "bathtub" in your kitchen using a large Rubbermaid container. It's a little messy, but it's easier than trying to hold a slippery toddler in the shower.

In addition, begin to make plans for how you're going to provide age-appropriate accommodations in the years ahead, when the kids are older and will need their own sleeping space during visits. For example, you might not be able to move into a larger apartment in the next six months, but being prepared to show that you're already saving to move into a larger place a year or two from now can help.

Asking the community: What do you think? If you've been in this situation before, how did you handle it? Was there anything that made the situation better or worse? Share your thoughts in the comments area below.

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I get so tired of the blame that society places on single parents. A prime example is a report released last week, titled "The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing: First-Ever Estimates for the Nation and for All Fifty States." In it, researcher Benjamin Scafidi, an economics professor at Georgia State University, claims that "family fragmentation," a result of both divorce and unwed childbearing, costs the American public an estimated $112 billion per year.

I find it interesting that the report was sponsored by four groups: The Institute for American Values, The Georgia Family Council, The Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, and Families Northwest. As far as I can tell, the intent behind the report is to gain support among legislators and policy makers for funding pro-marriage education and programs.

Now, I'm sure such programs would have merit. However, I don't believe that disparaging hard-working single parents is the only route to gaining the funding and support these groups seek.

Perhaps the report's researchers don't intend to place the blame on single parents, but isn't that the conclusion that the general public reaches when they read headlines such as Study: Single Parents Cost Taxpayers $112 Billion?

And let's face it, preventing tomorrow's divorces is noble, but it isn't going to change the costs associated with assisting the nearly 14 million single parents who are currently raising children on their own in the U.S.

And let's not ignore the fact that the current total "deficit," if you will, in unpaid child support also surpasses $100 billion. What if instead of ragging on single parents, we actually held "deadbeat" parents accountable for the financial costs associated with raising their own children, and put even a fraction of the money these four organizations hope to allocate to healthy marriages into support programs for single parents? Imagine what a different outcome that would produce for the 21.2 million children being raised in single parent families today!

Related: Single Parent Statistics

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