Kids are so intuitive. They pick up on our tone of voice, our facial expressions, and our body language. In many cases, these cues tell them immediately whether we are pleased, frustrated, sad, or annoyed.
That's why it's important to present questions about your kids' visitation time carefully. You don't want to put them in a position where they feel caught in the middle of each parent's wishes, or where they're reluctant to tell you that they had fun.
Instead, focus on eliciting a few general facts about the visit and communicating to your child that you're open to talking more -- without giving them the impression that they must talk with you about it. And when they do provide a few details, resist the urge to be judgmental about your ex's decision-making in front of the kids. If you have a legitimate safety concern, share it with your ex directly, or speak with your lawyer about the issue.
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