Jen's response: I would definitely keep good records and speak with your lawyer. In addition, try to communicate with your ex-wife about your parenting goals for the kids' visits. Communicate to her that the sleeping situation is temporary, and ask whether there is anything you can do to put her mind at ease concerning the children's safety.
For example, you could put a bed railing on the bed to prevent your toddler son from rolling over and falling out. (If you don't have one already, try using Freecycle to see if you can find one for free.) Also, consider making a "bathtub" in your kitchen using a large Rubbermaid container. It's a little messy, but it's easier than trying to hold a slippery toddler in the shower.
In addition, begin to make plans for how you're going to provide age-appropriate accommodations in the years ahead, when the kids are older and will need their own sleeping space during visits. For example, you might not be able to move into a larger apartment in the next six months, but being prepared to show that you're already saving to move into a larger place a year or two from now can help.
Asking the community: What do you think? If you've been in this situation before, how did you handle it? Was there anything that made the situation better or worse? Share your thoughts in the comments area below.