Move 'Em Out: Getting Your Kids to Sleep in Their Own Beds
Thursday February 28, 2008
Many single moms and dads struggle with this issue because they know their kids are comforted by the closeness and security of sleeping together; and yet they may find that they don't sleep so well, themselves, alongside squirmy, kicking youngsters.
How about you? Let us know by participating in this week's poll. And for tips on how to encourage your kids to sleep on their own, read the FAQ: How Can I Get My Kids to Sleep in Their Own Beds at Night?
Related:
Comments
Help! Iam a single mother of 2 children my daughter is almost 3 and my son is 10 months. My son is having problems sleeping through the night he wakes up frequently and will just continue to cry untill i come and get him if i leave him crying he wakes up my daughter. so i put him in the playpen in my room but I dont want him to think he can sleep in my room everynight. I dont know what to do, we just moved from a 2 bedroom where he slept in my room now we have a 3 bedroom and he finally has his own room but wont sleep in it I dont know if hes just so used to sleeping in a room with me but now he has his own room if you have any suggestions to help that would be great.
When I tried to change my daughter over into her own bed I gave her a special “lovy” – a soft stuffed doll I had owned when I was a girl – and a pair of my PJ’s that I had already worn for several days. No washing because that way they carry the very best, most comforting scent of you at bed time. When I would peek in on her, she’d have the doll in one hand, and my PJ’s in the other. Every few days, I’d switch out the PJ’s for whatever I had been wearing. She was fine the first night and after a few months, the lovy was enough.
Jessica,
Most likely, your son is responding to being in a new location. Does he have a special “lovey” he sleeps with? As Debbie explained, sleeping with a special doll or something that smells like “Mom” can help. Also, try putting him in his crib drowsy but awake. That way he’ll know where he is when he awakens periodically during the night. Be patient and comforting, and this will get better with time. We tend to forget, too, that learning to sleep alone is quite an accomplishment for our kids! With time, he’ll get there, and you’ll both feel really good about it, too!
Best,
Jen
With both of my boys, I would wrap (swaddle)them in the shirt that I was wearing when I put them down. We started putting them in their own beds when they were around 2-3 months old.
We are foster and soon to be adoptive parents of a two year old who has been through alot. She will not go to sleep without me lying in bed with her. I gave in not wanting to impose more trauma on this poor child, but I cannot continue to sleep in her twin bed since she is such a wild sleeper and has night terrors. Will I cause more damage by forcing her to sleep in her bed by herself? Any advice?
HELP!!! I have a boyfriend of 6 months. We are unable to sleep in the same bed at night because his 3 and 7yr old daughters sleep in bed with him every night. Am I wrong to get mad at him because he does not try to make then sleep in thier own bed at night.
Diann,
How are things going? I think that as long as you are intentional about reassuring her and giving her lots of love and attention during the day, then having her sleep alone won’t be “damaging.” When my son was about 18 months old, he started throwing up whenever I’d leave him in his crib. It was a nightmare, but eventually I just started staying in the hallway at night–sitting on the floor, reading a book, etc.–so that he could see me. After a bit, he’d fall asleep, and eventually I was able to put him to bed without him needing that extra sit-in-the-hall step. Good luck, and keep us posted when you can. Bedtimes aren’t easy, but it does get better.
~Jen
I hear your frustration! It seems to me that it’s an issue that your boyfriend really needs to handle directly, though. Is he interested in having them sleep on their own, or is it something that he’s not really all that concerned about? My sense is that making it a hot-button issue between you isn’t going to turn out in your favor. I’d recommend that, some time when the two of your are alone, you let him know how you feel about it–but also give him the time and space to deal with it. That might even mean not sleeping over until he’s resolved the sleeping arrangement issue with the girls, so that they don’t associate his new “rules” with you. Good luck, and keep us posted!
~Jen
He does want them to sleep in their own bed but he is so worried that “they wont love him anymore” His older daughter runs his life. If she doent want to do something he has planned it doesnt happen cuz he doesnt want to upset her. She calls him names like idiot and dummy she also tells him no when he wants her to do something. If they dont want whats for dinner he gets up from the table and makes them something else. How can I explain it nicely that this is damaging to them. I have told him that he is going to have major behavior issues when the reach their teenage years unless he gets a handle on it now.
Tabitha I feel your pain. My boyfriend of six months has a 2 1/2 yr old son who sleeps with him as well. Oh situation is a little differant because my boyfriend works 7 days on and 7 days off. He gets his son the whole 7 days that he is off work. I have tried to explain to my boyfriend that him sleeping with his son is putting a strain on our relationship because we dont get anytime alone. The situation right now is that I sleep in the spare room and my boyfriend puts his son to sleep and “IF” he dont fall alseep he will come to bed with me, but to be honest that isnt very often at all. And most of the time his son wakes up in the middle of the night and my boyfriend goes back to bed with his son. My boyfriend and I have been talking about marrage and he doesnt understand why I will not agree to it until his son is in his own bed, I dont think its healthy to get married when we cant even sleep in the same bed. He thinks that if he waits till his son is “old” enough to understand that it will be easier, I think that its just gonna get harder.. I try not to get mad over the situation but I cant help it, what do we do?