Fathers' Rights Organizations and Equal Parents' Week
Monday September 24, 2007
The last full week of September is recognized by proponents of shared parenting as "Equal Parents Week." This concept was first initiated in 2000 by The Children's Rights Council.
This year, Dads of Michigan, an affiliate of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children (ACFC) is hosting an Equal Parents' Week rally in Lansing in support of Michigan's proposed shared parenting legislation. If passed, House Bill 4564 would create mandatory shared parenting in the state of Michigan, in all cases except those situations where either parent is deemed:
This year, Dads of Michigan, an affiliate of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children (ACFC) is hosting an Equal Parents' Week rally in Lansing in support of Michigan's proposed shared parenting legislation. If passed, House Bill 4564 would create mandatory shared parenting in the state of Michigan, in all cases except those situations where either parent is deemed:
- unfit
- unwilling
- unable to care for his or her child/ren
Comments
If both parents are actually parenting and actually sharing the responsibility of it all then i think its great but my experience is my ex has all these rights but the responsiblity of every aspect of my son’s upbringing has fallen on me. So not only do i lose out on money and decision making power but he gets to live 2 hours away from us so there is no way he has to take on any of it. So I have concerns about a law that is so black and white. My ex of course told the judge that he wanted to be equal parent but it was all for show and unless i wanted to get into some dirty mudslinging trial I had to suck it up. I would never vote for this law based on my own experience!
Unfortunately, I don’t believe your experience is uncommon. Many non-custodial parents do want to be fully involved, but it’s just not ideal to share physical custody when both parents don’t live in or near the same general area. In fact, part of that proposed Michigan legislation includes the idea that if the parent moves outside the child’s school district, then they must submit to mediation to determine a custody agreement.
My ex and I attempted the shared physical custody with our one child 5 years old. First, developing a schedule that actually works for the parents is extremely difficult. It created daily arguments between the two of us. Second, the child needs “a” place to call home. It was very confusing for our child who daily asked questions of who was picking him up and who was dropping off. Friends would call to play yet he would be at the other parents house… which lead to tears. I do not believe this parenting approach is healthy for the child nor the parents. This has been proven statistically. Lawyers are making a lot of money by promoting it – that is clear.
Warning – this is many times a strategy NOT to pay child support. One of the many tricks the attorney’s play.
what about the dads that want to spend time with their child and also want to make sure that the child support they are paying is going to their child and not a means income for the ex.
I think it is a great idea if you have two parents who want to be equally involved and live in close proximity. When a father pays child support on time and wants to be an active participant in the childs life why on earth does the court always side with the mother. Too many times I see mothers taking child support and not using it to benefit the child. With holding visitation and asking for more money is far too common as well.
That is the exact problem I’m having right now with my son’s mother.. Not to sound “cheap”, but my son stopped getting child care over 3 years ago.. I “could” have gotten a modification, but I figured that “lil papi” could still use the extra funds..
What I have a problem with is, for example, when school starts, she demands I give her money for clothes.. While I don’t mind doing it when the funds are there, as far as I’m concerned, she should “already” be able to do the deed with what she’s got!!
As my son gets older, how do I prove to him that I was there as much as possible, despite what she’s probably gonna tell him???
I’m sorry for this long post, but I honestly don’t know what to do anymore… Any opinions, inputs, whether positive or negative, would be SO much appreciated!!!! *sigh*