Stress is right up there with death and taxes--we know they're coming, but we don't always take the time to prepare for them. Try thinking of stress as an enemy lying in wait. How will you prepare for the upcoming battle?
One thing I do is practice Yoga. I try to go to at least one class each week at our local YMCA. My kids aren't thrilled about being in the "Kids' Zone" for an hour, but it's healthy for them to learn that Mommy takes care of herself. Plus, we usually make a quick trip to the library on our way home, which gives them something to look forward to and provides a built-in "Thank You" for their cooperation.
How about you? What do you do on a regular basis to launch a preemptive strike against the stress in your life? For some suggestions about easy stress-busters you can do at home, read Top 10 Methods of Coping With Ongoing Stress.
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I take my dog for a walk everyday on my lunch hour. Regardless of the weather I find this is a great way to be stress free.
From rage to riches to sleeping in ditches
11/19/2006
To whoever may be concerned!
My name is Patrick Taylor. Up until five weeks ago I was a sober, drug free, self-employed, single parent of two wonderful children. This is but a small part of an ongoing sad and extremely confusing story of my little girl and her mother who uses the good intentions of the Ministry for Children and Families for her own gain regardless of the price her children are forced to pay. The true names have been withheld to protect the innocent.
I became a single parent six year ago. We lived on a beautiful street, in a townhouse run by M’akola housing in James Bay. My daughter now aged 11 & stepdaughter 17 were both raised on this street until recently. Both of my children are of aboriginal descent. I am from Newfoundland and for some people within the First Nations society, the wrong colour to be living in Native housing.
I was a self-employed single Father of two wonderful children. I started my own business so that I might provide a strong, healthy, loving and safe home for my children and myself. My business was successful up until this summer.
I spent years of countless court dates, struggling for healthy visitation for my children, and dealing with the disappointment of my children, caused by other parties not getting their way. Two years ago I finally managed to offer my daughters the security of knowing that their primary residence was with me, and that they could see their mother whenever they wanted. There would be no more decisions by their mother preventing them from seeing me, or making sudden, unexpected changes and upheavals in their lives. I was finally able to offer them the stability that children so badly crave and desperately need. This stability remained in place until five weeks ago when an incident occurred which will change our lives forever.
I found myself completely burned out and at my wits-end. I had become extremely stressed (during which time I had a surprise visit by authorities), and uncertain as to what was around the next corner. It was one thing after another from my oldest moving to Vancouver to start her own life to my youngest becoming an early young woman. This spring, a valiant attempt to have a personal relationship while being a single parent was finally at its end; work became unpleasant, my desire to communicate with people grew less and less and I found myself selling things so that I didn’t have to do so.
Before I could regain myself, everything that meant anything that I built and loved was gone. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when the Ministry removed my youngest child from my care.
You see at the beginning of October, 2006 after my former significant other burst through my door with crew on hand and removed everything we shared together. My house looked like it had been tossed. I suggested to a friend that I co-parented with for years that my child that I needed to take a break so that I may regain myself.
Both my daughter and family friend agreed that this was a good idea. Some fishing and boony bashing would clear my head. At least this is what I thought. I went fishing and camping and had the opportunity to regroup. I was away for about a week or so only to come home to no child and no home. I went directly to my friends to see my child only to find out that she had been apprehended, kidnapped by her mother, social workers (the same ones who had strongly investigated her mother numerous times for her bizarre lifestyle choices) became involved and my daughter was placed in the care of her mother and her most recent boyfriend. My daughter barely knows this man and has spent perhaps at a maximum eight whole hours in his presence in the last 2 years.
My friend informed me that in the course of picking my child up from her day at school she was met with the school, and my child’s mother and partner. I am sure you can image I was very inventive with my vocabulary and then on top of that once I regained my vision I went to our home to fine that, that too was gone.
I got as far as the door. Some person or people trashed my home on Sunday, November 19, 2006. The debris from needles in the wall, dirty, stinky clothing, and decaying food was flowing out into the doorway. When I got done picking my jaw up off the ground, I quickly turned around & made my way back to my family friend’s.
When I finally reached the Ministry, it was then when I was told on top of all this, that it was suggested that I was deeply involved in the drug culture and that my child will be remaining in the care of her mother until their (SECOND) investigation into this was completed. I called the landlord, the police and now, not only is my child not where I left her, my beloved cat is gone. I still can’t find him and I no longer had a home to return to. I was thinking at this point what else could go wrong.
That was the wrong thing to think. I came to find out later that my ex-girlfriend crawled through the window and removed the remainder of the furniture and I came to find out through the landlord that there was over $5000.00 dollars damage to the home and I am responsible. The same damage the ministry is accusing me of doing at the same time the landlord is giving me a great reference so that I may find a new place to live and that they are truly sorry that this has happened to my family.
The social worker is now telling me that I am being too aggressive, which I feel to be a contrary statement of fact. Their attempted to accuse me once again for using and being heavily into the drug culture was destroyed with a blood and urine test showing that I’m probable cleaner then half the people in the ministry.
It should be noted at this time that I am not, nor have I ever been, involved in the “drug culture”. It should also be noted at this time that my daughter’s mother has quite frequently used the ministry of Children’s Services for her own gain. We have attempted to find out just how many spurious accusations have been made and investigated by her over the years. I am not her only victim. She has done the same to the father of her other child. We have been told that the ministry does not keep track of who does the reporting. In my opinion it behooves the ministry to do that in this case.
Not only are resources being wasted that could be used for children who are truly in need of help, this should be a crime. Time and again lives are put into upheaval due to false accusations being made by this person. Each time, the accusations are proven false. Each time she tries again, they are fully investigated again.
When this current situation is clarified and it comes to light that I was never involved in any drug culture and that my daughter was never in fact in any danger and that the removal of my daughter from my care actually caused more harm than good, I fully expect that reparations will be made. I also fully expect that any accusation on the part of this person will NOT be taken at face value in the future. I would like to know why, when she does this over and over again, has there never been any kind of consequence for HER actions?
There reasoning as to why I am unable to visit with my child to date, is it takes a great deal of time and paper work to arrange such visitation. So while they workout their next attempt and attack my person, they’ve cut all contact with my child. We are allowed no phone, no electronic messages, no letters, no visits nothing. The social worker then laughs after I suggested at this rate it will be Christmas before I get to see my child. She replied by saying that Christmas is a great time to be together. My apologies, but I find this response incredibly offensive.
My daughter has emailed me from school saying things like “they stole my daddy” and that “they told me I was only going to be gone there for the weekend”. And that she wants to come home. She wants to be with her friends and family, and these people don’t listen to kids. My daughter said from my last email she wrote from her school. This is breaking my heart they’re telling her that I am sick.
This child was removed from the area she grew up in, a home that she felt safe and secure in, the support of her friends, the familiarity of her school and environment, all based on an accusation that has already been proven to be unfounded. Her life has been turned upside down, she has been lied to, ignored and her emotional well being has been sacrificed, purportedly for her own protection.
They must have gotten their parenting tactics & training form the same place my ex-wife did. I would almost put money on the fact that the social worker investigating this case probably took some of the same classes as my ex-wife. I was certain it was the ministry policy to keeping families together not to seclude or isolate families from each other.
This to me is a clear case of negligence and irresponsibility if I have ever seen it. It’s my understanding that this form of in house apprehension & arrest was obsolete. And not how they wanted the children of the future to grow up in. It’s going cost me a small fortune in counseling for my child once the Ministries has finished “keeping her safe”.
Please Help!!!!!!!!!!!
Sincerely:
Patrick Taylor
Tel: 250-893-6869
Email:taylorshomeemprovements@hotmail.com
Jen,
That’s a great idea! It’s those little things that really add up. Keep up the good work!
Jen
Dear Patrick,
I’m sorry that you’re having such a rough time. Don’t lose hope, though. Things will get ironed out in time. Meanwhile, do what you can to find a new place, get your work situation re-stabilized, and prepare for your daughter’s return. If you’d like to talk, join us in the forum.
Best,
Jen