From the article: Should I Leave My Children Home Alone?
Leaving your kids home alone for the first time can be incredible unnerving. What was the most important factor for you in deciding that your kids were really old enough and responsible enough to stay home alone? Share your thoughts with our readers. You might just put another single mom or dad's mind at ease! Share Your Thoughts
Working Mom
- I have recently had to leave my 9-year-old and 7-year-old old at home alone after school. My mom used to watch them for me, but she had to leave town on an emergency, and there was no one else who could watch them after school. So, now I pick them up and take them home. They are alone for about an hour before my older two get home. They are 12- and 14-years-old. We have a cell phone at home, and the two younger ones call me when they are done with their chores, and then my older two call me when they get home. It still worries me, of course, but each time they call, I thank them for being safe and being responsible. I think I worry more about them than they worry about themselves!! We also have a dog who is very protective of them all. It helps, too, that I know we have good neighbors on all sides. Like other parents, I started leaving them alone probably about two years ago to get a gallon of milk or take books back to the library. I think it's a good thing...we're building trust in each other, and they're build some independence.
- —TanyaDennings
Leaving Kids Home Alone
- Wow! I understand that moms and dads have so many duties. I am a 25-year-old single mother, and I have four kids, ages 13, 11, 5, and 7. However, I will never leave my kids alone. No way! They are my life. Too many things can happen. I was always left alone at age 11 and I was raped, along with my two other sisters. (Consequently, I have my adorable 13-year-old son.) My parents were working at the time. When we called them, it was to late. Four men broke into the apartment during the daytime. This experience makes me more aware and want to protect my kids. Five minutes can change everything. I love my four kids, and I won't leave them home alone.
- —Guest janet
Stop Being Scared
- Parents need to stop living in fear and, in turn, raising kids in fear. I can't wait to see what our children's generation is going to be...afraid to be outside, afraid to stay in alone, afraid to talk to people. Never having alone time and never knowing how to sit there and think because their parents are in charge of entertaining them (unlike when we were kids and had to entertain ourselves and go play with our friends).
- —Guest FreeRangeKids
It helps kids mature...
- Sometimes I'd be left alone when I was young, but not too often. I am now in a blended family, with my one bio son, 20, and two stepsons, 22 and 25. However, there was a time when I was a single mom and it was just my son and me living alone. I never left him alone before the age of 8. When I say "left" him I mean, I was gone literally 15 minutes and had my cell phone with me. When I returned home, I could tell he felt good about being able to be left home alone for even a few minutes. As soon as my son was 12, I got a part-time job while he was in school, and there would be times when I'd get out of work late, and my son would be alone - but for less than an hour - and this practice was completely legal! In April, 2010, my husband and I went on our first real vacation, down to Florida, just the two of us! All the boys were left home, but at the time, my son was 19 and I knew he was an adult, and he really wanted to stay home. All that early experience of being left alone helped him cope!
- —SuzyScorp
It Depends on the Child
- My parents left me home alone when I was 6, and I stayed by myself for about an hour. I knew not to open doors and my grandmother lived down the street if I needed her. I left my 7-year-old alone for the first time a few months ago to walk to a nearby store. She was about to take a nap. So far, I've only left her for less than 30 minutes to go to the local coffee shop or to get a newspaper. Every place is within walking distance and I leave my cell phone. You really can't say what the right age is for someone else's child.
- —Guest CMommie
Only if they're mature enough...
- to handle certain situations at home. We started to leave our kids alone at home at ages 12 (girl) and 9 (boy) due to my wife and I working during the day. Of course we went through all the process of testing, checking behavior, self confidence; also basic rules: don't answer the phone unless is someone you know (call ID), never say to a stranger that you're alone (they can say we are taking a shower or something), don't use matches or the stove, only the microwave oven, don't use knives (preferably), play safe and call us immediately for anything they need and if it's something REAL urgent they should go to our neighbors (all the people from our street know each other). Also, we have a dog (a Lab) and it's a real trustworthy pet, it loves us all and always barks at strangers. A dog is a very good companion for a kid that has to stay alone at home for a long period of time. I believe this is good for the kids so they can feel confident with themselves and we're just a phone call away.
- —Guest Adrian Caldera
Only if they're mature enough...
- ...to handle certain situations at home. We started to leave our kids alone at home at ages 12 (girl) and 9 (boy) due to my wife and I working during the day. Of course we went through all the process of testing, checking behavior, self confidence; also basic rules: don't answer the phone unless is someone you know (call ID), never say to a stranger that you're alone (they can say we are taking a shower or something), don't use matches or the stove, only the microwave oven, don't use knives (preferably), play safe and call us immediately for anything they need and if it's something REALLY urgent they should go to our neighbors (all the people from our street know each other). Also, we have a dog (a Lab) and it's a real trustworthy pet, it loves us all and always barks at strangers. A dog is a very good companion for a kid that has to stay alone at home for a long period of time. I believe this is good for the kids so they can feel confident with themselves and we're just a phone call away.
- —Guest Adrian Caldera
Home Alone Kiddos
- Get a dog - a big dog! And did you know female canines can be as protective, if not more so, than males? It works. I learned this from a guy I rented from (platonic-ly) for 13 years who had three girls.
- —Guest Deb
I Did Trial Runs With the Neighbors
- I would leave my 8- and 9-year-old home while I went to the neighbors' homes for 5 or 10 minutes as a trial run. My boys also get 1/2 an hour of video game play time. When I knew they could handle it (their Scout book also goes over "danger situations"), I would run to a nearby store to pick up milk, etc. and let them play their time when I left. I know they can handle half hour stretches easily and will let them stay home when I do quick errands. I'm still not comfortable leaving them home alone when I'm gone over 45 minutes. They have my cell phone number, Daddy's cell phone number, and Daddy's work phone. Not once have they had to use it. If I give them a chore or something to do, by the time I get home it's usually done.
- —Guest wetaf
Independence
- I started leaving my boys, 11 and 7, a year ago. My husband and I would go for a 30-minute walk. We loved the time out and they loved the independence. However there were rules: 1) Do not answer the phone (unless you know it is us - on the answering machine), 2) Do not answer the front door, 3) Do not cook anything, and 4) Make sure we can trust you so that we can leave you alone again. The boys loved it. They were a partnership together. Independence is a must and we are always a phone call away. ~www.teachermum.com
- —Guest Cued them in...
Preparations/Lists
- We live in the country, and I started leaving my kids home alone when they were 11, 9, and 4 with short trips of 20-30 minutes. Then I expanded to 1 hour, with lists of who to call and phone numbers taped to the fridge. They didn't expand past the 1 hour until they were all a couple of years older. I based this on the fact that there are no close neighbors to run to for help if needed.
- —ciratb
People Baby Their Kids Nowadays
- I've seen 11- and 12-year-old kids who can't cross a suburban street, use a steak knife, or plunge a toilet. Really? When did we become America, home of the lame? Baby your kids, and they will stay babies. Challenge them a little at a time, and they will amaze you, and BE amazing. My 10-year old walks to and from school alone, knows how to stay calm, and can cook for herself. I'd trust her before most adults I know. Teach your kids to be smart, and they will never disappoint you...or themselves.
- —Guest did a dance of joy.
17-Year-Old Left Alone for 10 days????
- My 17-year-old is a good kid, and he hasn't gotten into any trouble thus far. This past July he went to live with his dad. Now his dad is going out of town for 10 days and wants to leave my son home alone. I think it's CRAZY. First off, he's a teenager. Secondly, yes, he is old enough to be alone for a while, but this is ridiculous. Am I just being to over protective, or am I being realistic? I want him here under proper supervision, not doing whatever with whomever.
- —Guest think my Ex is being unreasonable
It's Never Safe to Leave Kids Home Alone
- Never! I was a latch key child and stayed at home alone in the summers with my siblings. Again, NEVER do this!!!
- —Guest Latch key
Home Alone
- Seriously, people will leave the responsibility of caring for their siblings to 12-year-old children. What if they died under their care? That is too much responsibility to put upon a child. Why not just take your 8-year-old along with you to pick up your other child? I wouldn't leave any child alone until they are teenagers - 16 or older. They really are not equipped mentally or emotionally to deal with what we as parents are supposed to be doing. We are not supposed to push this responsibility off on our children. Just because we are busy as parents, doesn't mean that we should rob are children of their time to play and be children. They are supposed to be children; they shouldn't have to pretend to be responsible adults. It is not their time to step up to the plate, it is ours as adults. Let them be children. Protect them and let them play.
- —tuttibinks58
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