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Readers Respond: Share Your Experiences Using Plenty of Fish For Online Dating

Responses: 278

By

For F... Sake!

Don't waste your intelligence or time on these sites. You're better off meeting through Meetup.com sites where people connect via mutual interests and eye contact. POF is inundated with scary people on BOTH sides of the M/F fence. In fact, I have one female friend who misrepresented herself in both profile and photos. She was 100 pounds more than her photos revealed. (She was good with Photoshop!) She had no money but when she FINALLY divorced she used her ex's money to lure men -- who otherwise used and dumped her. MORONS!
—Guest GiveUpDatingOnPOFNMATCH

POF is the Worst

POF is the underbelly of the swamp. Because the service is free, it costs scam artists nothing to work up a bogus profile -- preying upon the hopeful looking to find love. This is not always obvious at first. Con artists make it their profession to lie and snooker those who are genuine. So you have nice honest people with no mal intent mixed with shady, unbalanced con artists. It's a recipe for financial and emotional devastation. Match.com is no better. In fact, the company will not back up women who report men for harassing and denigrating them on the site. But if a woman responds in kind, Match.com shuts them down and allows the male to sit there repeating the same passive-aggressive behavior. Match.com and POF are the toilet upon which predators crap. You have to double flush. FOR THE MOST PART, expect to be ripped off by unscrupulous users on Match.com and POF. I dated one man from Match who looked good online and in public, but was a sick twisted man underneath his medical facade. WATCH OUT!
—Guest IntellectualFish

POF is Dangerous

POF is a cesspool for the most part, with some authentic men sprinkled in. I know plenty of the guys on there from my business. Many are alcoholics, addicts, and very broken. One has a great MO and a dangerously horrid temper that only came out after a few coffee dates. Not the garden variety -- we are talking off-the-chain RAGE! To the woman below me who spied on her BF when he went on a date: It's sad that this happened to you. The woman you are directing your anger at is not the one you should be lecturing to. Lecture yourself for stalking your ex and misappropriating your angst for what he did to you! The other woman was not responsible for your boyfriend stepping out on you. Let him go and move on. Get therapy. But don't make it about her. (UNreal!) Tips: meet at a safe place, ladies. There are numerous accounts of opportunists who will put your safety and well-being on the line for clandestine reasons. Be observant and TRUST your instinct. Instinct is there for a reason. If the person is selfish and arrogant -- go home and forget him!
—Guest Alarmed

My Experience

I'm not saying this is true about all women on here, but from my experience with women on POF, they are bored and are not really looking for anything serious. I met one girl on this site, only to find out she had 3 kids! Her profile clearly said "no kids." (This one was obviously looking for someone to settle with, but she lied to me.) I'm not going to lie. I hit up clubs and one of the first questions I ask girls is "Do you have any kids?" If they say yes, I move on. So... girls, please don't lie about yourselves on the internet... Because, yeah, we will most likely sleep with you and move on... And here's my opinion for guys: get the courage to just hit up a girl outside the internet!
—Guest MC

Yep, It's a Dating Site

I am one of those married men on the site. I am right up front and have had several dates. But my wife knows. I say just be honest. Different strokes for different folks. Good luck. And thank you POF!
—Guest Dfwridercpl

Plenty of Mind-Game Playing Time-Wasters

I've been using POF on and off for over 2 years. Friends of mine recommended it as they found long-term partners straight away from this site. The reality for me is very different. I'm an attractive guy, with a good job and my own house who can hold a good conversation. I send quite a few emails to women that I really like the look of and have compatible profiles with mine. But they just look at my profile without responding -- very rude! I've been on a few dates. They run very well and then the women disappear into oblivion. Alternatively I get the phone number collectors who take your number then ignore you completely. I simply don't get it. I'm pretty sure its all about an ego boost. There seem to be the same women that have been on here for 2 years every time I'm on. I often wonder why they are still lingering on. POF is a very good concept, but it's open to too much abuse by time wasters. I would recommend any guy signed up to the site to take it with a pinch of salt.
—Guest Paul

Know the Game, Guys

It would seem that the only women worth dating on POF are either only curious and fear going through with an actual date, have such a check-list as to make it impossible for them to be meeting anyone except that Mr. Right, or are mud-throwers. (They're not interested in communicating to get to know a guy, but want to meet as soon as possible to give him the once-over -- not wanting to waste too much time on a nice, attractive guy that may have an eye in the center of his forehead.) If you're a guy then leave a profile up, check it now and again, and you may be LUCKY to find a woman that doesn't fit in the above categories. However, expect many responses from lovely, homely ladies you'd like as a neighbor, nut-jobs with baggage, or mucky old cows.
—Guest mmmbeachlover

Why?

Why do women put stupid bars on what they want? Many are missing the good guys, just by barring them on age or some other silly thing.
—Guest Trying

POF is like Hotel California

Same faces...no one seems to leave...all looking for perfect guys...unrealistic expectations...no one is perfect, including me.
—Guest Lonely Guy

Cheap Site, Cheap Results

The problem with POF is that it is all things to all men. There are people on there looking for sex. (What else does "intimate encounter" mean? And for that matter what does "fun" mean, as applied by so many women? To most men, women looking for "fun" means "I want a shag!") The layout of POF is excellent, clear, uncluttered (other sites could learn a lot here) and easy to use. What it needs, however, is to sort out the questions relating to personality. Because like it or not the whole gamut of online dating is on the one site; from singles wanting a missionary style date, to married people wanting extra-marital affairs. Speaking as a man, loads of women complain about cut-and-paste messages. What else do they expect when 90% of the women do not even have the courtesy to reply to a message? Try cutting and pasting "Sorry, I'm not interested," and a lot of us men would at least know where we stand rather than just wondering.
—loveyourflower

It's All About Patience & Timing

As an mature, single woman, I used several dating sites to reconnect with available men after my divorce. Keeping an open mind and remaining positive after numerous "mis-matches" is crucial to finding that person who may become more than just a casual date. I met my current partner on POF, and we have been living together for almost a year. I truly wasn't looking for a Superman, since we all know that there are no perfect people out there. We have our differences, but we have learned to appreciate them and build a strong relationship based on new shared interests. Perhaps at an older age (>45) we have less time for games, but I found most of the men I dated were pleasant and sincere. If one date doesn't work for you, learn from it and move on to the next....and don't take responses or lack of them personally. There are some lovely ladies out there having the same doubts as you, but you'll never find her if you give up too soon.
—calileox2

Same Old Inventory

Everyday I get on POF and there are the same people as the day before. I almost always get a response. However, there are just not that many men on there I would like to meet. If someone could REALLY convince me that paying for a site would work better, I'd try it. Don't get me wrong. I have met a few really great men. However, we didn't have enough in common to continue after a couple of dates or long phone calls.
—Guest suzi52820

Treat Women With More Respect

Yes, there are women on this site with problems. Why? Because they trust these shallow men who have no heart. It's like they where raised by wolves. After a woman gives her heart and body to a man, they crap on them. A female when she is young does everything to please her man: cooks, cleans, gives him children, and for what? To be called fat because her body has changed, her feelings, her life! Then these so-called men want to find someone younger, prettier, sexier who will put up with their BS. Why? Because they don't know their true colors. Men look at the exterior, not the heart. You say woman have problems; I say they have experience!
—Guest pinkwings5

OMG

I have been insulted so many times on here it's been painful to my self-esteem and heart. There are so many shallow men on POF. They lie and play games, and they just want sex. It's so sad. This site should be called Plenty of Fakes!
—Guest pinkwings5

A Waste of Time, Really

I have used this site to find a new partner after the death of my wife through cancer. I have been totally appalled by the way the women on this site react to men. It's no wonder they can't meet anyone to join in a full-time, meaningful relationship, and are still on the site some three or four years on. Maybe they are just trying to be showoffs, but as far as meeting any of that lot, they can keep whistling as far as I am concerned.
—Guest wilz

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