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Readers Respond: What Are the Biggest Challenges You Face as a Custodial Single Mom?

Responses: 15

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What challenges do you face as a custodial single mom? Whether your ex takes the kids for regular visits, or you're completely on your own, let us know what your biggest challenges are, and how you handle them. You never know, your words might just be the encouragement another single mom needed to hear!

From a Grandmother

It is time to celebrate the strength of single mothers who so often struggle against the odds for the sake of their children. These are the parents who refused to walk away. Let's stop punishing them for being the ones who accept their responsibilities to the best of their abilities. They are heroes! It is in the country's best interests to invest in families and children. Given a chance, some children of single parents are rather successful in life (i.e., President Obama). Sometimes it helps to learn the facts, such as the fact that the former AFDC used a mere 6% of the federal budget at its highest (in the 1970s), and that a full 80% of recipients voluntarily quit welfare for work by the time their children started school. What we spent on welfare was a fraction of what we spend on handouts to corporations. Isn't it time to change our priorities, protecting families and enabling people to become as productive as they can be?
—Guest DHFabian

Daddy?

My daughter calls strange men Daddy! Well, not just strangers, but my friends, as well. It makes for a very awkward visit!
—Guest Dixie123

Single Parent Challenges

My biggest challenge as a single parent is dealing with the child's father, who can't seem to make up his mind about whether he wants to be in his son's life or not. He just recently sent me an ugly letter stating how much he didn't love the kid, and for me not to contact him. But then two months later, he sends me a message saying that he really wants to give his son Christmas presents... I am like, dude, make up your mind!
—Guest missdoitall

Single Moms

I am a single mom of 2 kids, and I find it challenging now more then ever because I cannot get food stamps or qualify for any aid because of something illegal my soon-to-be-ex-husband did to me. He made it possible that I cannot work or go back to school. So how do I feed myself and 2 kids and support us? Now that to me is challenging because I have no income and he ruined our lives.
—Reina04

Single Parent Challenges

Being a single parent isn't easy, but it can be done. Your child or children can grow up to make you feel so proud and you will know everything you went through was well worth it. It hasn't been easy raising a male child to be a man when I don't really have a clue myself. A big challenge for me was trying to explain to my son why his father wasn't there. I always try to be positive and not to talk bad about my children's father because I wanted my children to see things for themselves. Lots of prayer and help from family helps me to get through it!
—MsThang2209

Great Yet Frustrating

I feel very empowered raising my two children on my own. Their father was physically present but not emotionally or spiritually present. He was just another object in the room taking up space. He never helped me clean, bathe, feed or get them ready. The only contribution he made was a month's disability check. Even though he worked, he never contributed any of the money. He always frustrated me and so I in turn would be angry around my kids. Without him I feel so much stress relieved. I can do everything I need to do minus him & I can enjoy my kids without having to see him taking up space. My husband never wanted to do things and now me and my kids go to the store, parks, & play. We do a lot together. Bath time is always fun & bedtime too. I do get frustrated at times though because I'm doing all this & he gets to walk away with only himself & his money. No worries. It's disappointing & sad but I will always continue to be strong for my children.
—Guest J

Challenges of Being a Single Mom

I have 2 kids, and both of my kids have no memorry of what their dad looks like, because he completely disappeared from our lives. The kids ask about him, and I haven't the slightest idea of where he is. This hurts all of us so much, but all we do is to speak well of him, maintain a forgiving heart towards him, and we pray to God for the strength to see us through the hard moments of remembering him.
—Guest juliet

Very Poor

I just got a job making $11.00 an hour in a daycare facility. I am living in a friend's basement with my three kids. I eventually need to find a place of my own, and I am really scared that I won't be able to afford it on my small salary.
—Guest Single mom4131

The Challenges of Single Mothers

What if we took the challenges of single motherhood just like we take challenges in our workplaces? Imagine a woman with potential who manages an office with more than 20 staff members reporting to her? If she can do that, how can't she also do her role as a mother and still asume the resposibility of a father? Don't look down at yourself, just have a right attitude and you will win this race. Don't press the panic button just because you find yourself being a single mother. If other women single handedly could raise presidents, doctors, and celebrities, what makes you think you can't? As a woman of today, don't ever make the mistake of missing the opportunity of raising your own child, making the excuse that you are not financially viable. You will cry and wish for that bond with your own child and time will not be in your favor--for once lost, it is never regained. Shifting your responsibility of bringing up your own child to someone else is never a solution. Be there for your child through thick and thin, in wealth and in porverty. Don't ever regret doing what is right. I am on the same ship. It's a pool of challenges, but it wont sink. Let us learn to accept and embrace situations that we cannot change. What is important is being a mother. Single or not, being a mother is a challenge, so let's support each other! If God though that a child couldn't be brought up by a single mother, He would not have allowed there be any single mothers on this earth. You have what it takes! Good luck and enjoy your single motherhood.
—Guest G 4Tshwanelo

Being a Single Mother

I used to see it as a challenge, but as I look at my 2-year-old gal, I feel pride and think God was a custodian too. He supported me, and I embrace my single motherhood and say one day I will leap with pride!
—Guest g 4Kutlo

Single Mother Challenges

As a single mother we have many challenges. From feeling completely overwhelmed to feeling completely drained. We must balance the time with our children, career, household, finances, and maintain a sense of sanity through it all. It is the most important and challenging job of all!
—Guest Angela

How it Really is Being a Single Mom

Feeling alone; like you're not enough; disappointed and betrayed; like I'm failing, even when trying my best; abandoned; and rejected. These are just some of the feelings I hear in ministry to sinlge moms. I also hear over and over from these women that they legitimately need help but don't know where to turn.
—Guest c

Overwhelmed

My biggest challenge as a single-mother is time! To have enough time for my children, my job, my education, my household responsibilities and myself! It is definitely a struggle to balance all of the above.
—Guest Jo

Feeling Lost

The biggest challenge is finding out who you are. Take a course or find a social group, even it is only online. I am newly separated and still having issues with my children, but I still have plans in place to keep me sane.
—Guest carole

Single Parent Challenges

My challenge is I just don't know how go about my life. I'm totally lost. I'm not focused on anything, and I really need some advice.
—Guest Shoba

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