Readers Respond: Child Support Horror Stories

Responses: 41

From lost addresses to disappearing payments, child support horror stories are not uncommon. Take a moment to share your experiences, along with any tips you have for breaking through the red tape of the bureaucratic child support system.

Your efforts just might help make the child support enforcement experience a little less stressful for someone else.

Please Note: This page is for sharing your child support horror stories. If you have questions about child support issues, please stop by the Single Parents' Forum.

I Picked a Winner!

My child's father, the "winner" I speak of, has five children with five different women and works in the food service industry. Needless to say, child support is a waste of thought. Half of his crappy checks, divided amongst five children equals about... nothing. Terrific. It wouldn't be so bad if he were involved in the child's life, but unfortunately 3 of the 5 mothers he was not dating at the time of conception, so he therefore has nothing to do with their children.

—Guest Rose

Deadbeat Dad

I am a single parent with 2 children and no help, period. He says he doesn't have to help me as long as he sees the kids, and now he doesn't even do that. I tried to file for child support. But when trying to serve the papers, the many women he was messing with covered for him and the agency told me it was not their job to continuously try to hunt him down. What a way to be! He has 8 kids and pays support for 2 of them with 2 other women and he married a woman with 3 kids. No, he didn't have to pay for them. One is adopted by her grandparents, so my 2 are the ones that don't get crap from him or help.

—Guest tdub

There is No Justice

I was falsely accused of domestic violence and thrown in jail, my daughter was taken from me for two months, and they tried to take my son away--but his mother (a different person) stuck up for me and signed a parenting agreement, thank God!. My daughter's mother is a nightmare. I even presented an email she sent me saying that she didn't want her daughter. She openly spoke in court saying she didn't want her until now. Both her and her new boyfriend talk openly in front of a two-year-old girl telling her she should have been an abortion! I am stuck paying $750 a month in child support and was only given every other weekend and two days during the week, but I end up getting her most of the time. The court won't adjust the payments because they base it on the time she won in court, and not the actual time I spend with her. When she is at her mother's, her mother puts her at a baby sitters house 90% of the time. This way she doesn't have to deal with her...

—Guest nc

My Horror Story

I am the parent. I do the work--every thing! They've lived with me for 9 almost years, but I have to pay $58,000 in support.

—Guest not the right one

From GA to NC to IL

My husband was married to a women for 10 years, during which time she cheated constantly and produced two children that are obviously not his. When he tried to bring to the court officers' attention the fact that they were separated when these children were conceived, but he was not even allowed to speak at all! So 16 years later he is still paying support for these children, while the ex-wife and the children's natural father are living happily ever after! Meanwhile, I have a child from an ex-husband now living in Chicago, IL who has not paid a dime toward any of his child support. What a great system we have in the U.S.

—Guest Step Mom

System Needs To Be Reviewed

I've been paying child support for my son since 2004 in the form of money orders and money transfers (which I don't recommend). I've saved all the receipts in envelopes since hte beginning. On my birthday I receive a letter from the AZ Office of Child Support Enforcement saying that I owe $9000+ in past due child support. I started sending payments in the form of money orders because a former employer was taking the money for support out of my checks, but the courts/my ex wife were not getting payments. So now my federal tax refund will likely be intercepted and my credit in worse shape, not to mention the frustration and anger I feel toward the system and my miserable, disgusting ex-wife. The money order payments are considered "a gift" by the state child support agency! This is a kick in the teeth. I was trying to do the right thing to support my son. Now I have to go through more red tape to get the courts to recognize those past payments as child support! Plus, I live in KY.

—Guest Dubya3

I WANNA BE DADDY

I am a single mother, and from the beggining it's been hell. So I guess I should have seen this coming. We were living in Calif. and I moved to Hawaii to help my parents because my father was ill. Shortly after that, I found out I was pregnant. He was excited at first. Then he quit his job when I was 4 months pregnant and depended on me for everything. Then I found out he was fooling around. I gave him anything and everything he wanted. I worked two jobs, standing all day as a cashier and answering phones at a hotel at night, until the day I gave birth. My son is 2 years old now and has only seen his father once! His father was there for the birth, and then left a month later. When we went to visit his dad the Christmas after he was born, he was busy chasing girls! Since my son was born, his dad has only seen him once, and hasn't had a job in over 2 years. He doesn't help me at all, but he has the nerve to call and ask me to send him money and send him my son!!

—Guest phyllis

A system built for men

I am an American expat living in Korea who is due October 18th. The father of my child is also American (he's retired military working as a contractor here). He has shown no interest in the child and blames me for not having an abortion. The Korean government can't help me because we aren't Korean. The military won't help me because he's retired and they say it's a civil matter. The American Embassy just told me that if he's on the birth certificate then I need his signature to get a passport of the baby and if the baby doesn't have a passport, we can't go home. If the father's name isn't on the BC it makes things all the more difficult to get any help once we get home. If/when we get home, I have to wait SIX MONTHS to establish residency, meanwhile giving up a good job and medical care that I have here in Korea. He's already sent emails confirming that he's the father and saying wants nothing to do with us. The system is just built to victimize single mothers. It's so unfair!

—DinDaejeon

$17,000 Behind & They Do NOTHING!!

My ex and I have 2 kids. We have been divorced for 10 years. He is now about $17,000 behind in support and just keeps digging the hole deeper! He still sees the kids every other weekend and acts like he's "father of the year". I'm so frustrated! I think the people at the courthouse probably just sit around drinking margaritas while they're waiting for these deadbeat dads to walk in and pay up!

—Guest frustrated

Elect one who cares

I collected spares support from my ex in Indiana, as the 3 kids and I are in Florida. I started with zip, as I fought for my kids. Six months later, in court, she said I can't pay, but to avoid the scorn from the judge, her lawyer advised at least the minimum (although I should have asked for $100). But we started with $50 a week for 3 young kids. (Bad lawyer on my part). I went back a year later and got it raised to $74 a week. Much later, with kids in college, it was raised to $123 over an entire year, but that's when she quit her job and chose disability. (Does this sound familiar?) Today, after a few years of work on my part, as well as FL child support and the prosecutor (lame but needed), I got an agreement of $270 a month until it gets paid off in January, 2015. Lesson learned - document everything, record phone conversations, pay up for a good lawyer, AND look for a candidate who can tighten up the terrible red tape of this legal system.

—coastpalm

Child Support -- Ugghh!

I never received a summons or anything. One day a few years ago I went to pick up my check (mind you I'm only a stocker in a store, so it was roughly $300 for two weeks), and I looked at my check and it said $0.00! They took everything for two months straight. I hear you all probably saying that, they can't do that, but they did! Fast forward to every stupid job I get. They take half of my pay. Mind you, I work cleaning jobs for very low pay, while my ex husband and the father of my four children is in prison on and off for who knows when, and has fathered children with other women, so why is he not responsible at all for our bill? I sent my kids as a last resort to my mom so I could find a job. I was tired of being in the system. He is still in prison, and he has two more kids who are not with me, and I owe $18,000 dollars and he owes nothing. Something is wrong here. I know California is hurting for money, but come on. Fair is fair!

—scaso

Deadbeat Mom

Here's one for all of the male bashers out there. My ex-wife and I got a divorce. She gave me full custody, not even wanting to set up visitation rights for herself, and she took off to Pennsylvania for her "New Beginning" with the man of her dreams (a 16-year-old boy still in high school!). And she calls maybe once a month to ask how the kids are. I'm going to file for support. The only reason I didn't do it at the divorce hearing was because I though she would still try to be some part of their lives. But I was wrong. Her priorities where not with our 3-year-old son or 6-month-old daughter.

—Guest Viroscope

JEALOUS EX

My husband has four children with three different women. The mother of the youngest two refuses to let him see his children because he wouldn't get back together with her. He was paying her $500 in child support every month by check. After we were married she filed a claim with DHS saying that he was over $5,000 behind in child support, and when we brought them copies of the checks, they said the support he paid wasn't acceptable because it didn't go through them. They automatically started sending her $900 a month and not sending his other two children their money. To this day nothing has been done, and this has been going on for over a year. She even went so far as to try and claim that my husband molested their daughter, and he was at work on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico when she claimed this happened! Nothing was done about that, even after we provided papers from the doctor, explaining that no evidence of abuse was found! The CSE and judicial system in MS is a joke!

—Guest AWARREN

Ex-Wife Won the Lottery & Demands Extras

My ex wife and her husband win a million dollars, and she still comes after me for all kinds of extras that I have no way of paying for, even if I wanted to...

—Guest Jaybird1313

Who Knew?!?

My ex and I had a baby. We both came from divorced homes, and from day one I've been afraid he would leave me with the baby and a broken home.Of course that's what he did! Always trust your first impression of someone. So it's been a few months since he moved out, and in total I've received $32.75 for diapers and a doctor's appointment. We switch off from week to week. Every time he comes to pick up our son, he needs diapers, but he has only bought one pack of diapers for our son this whole time! Meanwhile, I'm a college student. I live with my mom, and with the economy the way it is right now around here, I can not find a job, no matter what i do. Child support should be paid, correct? We were in a relationship for two years and he up and decides he's "fallen out of love" with me, which - as all men know - is a load of bull. So pay up, Justin F.!

—Guest Errorin