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Readers Respond: Child Support Horror Stories

Responses: 159

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I'm Afraid to File for Child Support

I have been with my children's father for 17 years in a very dysfunctional relationship that turned abusive at times. Recently we argued and I received a right hook to my face splitting it open. He holds two full time jobs and I make a decent income. He paid half the mortgage and I supported everything else pertaining to the home and the kids. Listening to the horror stories I don't even know if I want to file for child support, but I know it is the right thing to do. I forgot to mention that he did father another child during our relationship whom he does pay child support for in the amount of $243 bi-weekly and that wasn't a problem, but $1,500 to give our kids a better life was. Oh yeah, did I forget the purchase of a sports car that his family could not fit in and a $600 note? Sometimes I think he should just sign over his rights. I'm more than fine with doing what I have to for my kids.
—Guest fw

The System in Goshen is Not fair!!

I'm going to keep mine short and simple. I am paying child support based on what I made in 2001, which was a little bit over $50,000 a year. Now in 2010, I'm making less then $20,000 a year. The court system says that I'm capable of making that type of money again. It's been 6 years since I've seem my children, and I have joint custody of my children! I'm being neglected and my children are being manipulated to where they are using her current husband's last name. And I'm called "THAT MAN" by my children. How is it that my youngest daughter went from being madly in love with her father to calling me "That man?" I created a Facebook called D.U.D.E.S., which stands for Dads Understanding Dads Economic Struggles.
—Guest Pauli

Never Ending Abuse All Around

My ex's lawyer is married to the court reporter, no court hearings were ever transcribed, and I was never able to get copies. Hmmm. My ex is self-employed, does not document cash payments for work, lies about his income, and just got his support payments lowered by half for two of his kids. He doesn't have to pay medical, either. He is court ordered to pay because it's more than 9% of his income. He lives with his parents and is emotionally abusive to the kids. He also has a severe oxy habit. I'm forced to send the kids to visits when they beg not to. This is because of the Texas courts. He refuses to speak to me about the abuse, saying it's his business, and he shuts down all communication. I sued him for being unpaid after spending more than $5,000 on a lawyer. He postpones, transfers it, makes up all kinds of stuff, like saying his mom is dying or he's got pneumonia. Now the case is delayed for at least another month, and meanwhile I pay for everything, and the stress is destroying my health.
—Guest So exhausted

Just Appeal - It Lets You Off the Hook!

I live in Colorado. My divorce was final in 2009. My ex was not happy with the judge's decision and appealed to the Colorado Appeals Court. He now states that since he has appealed he is no longer ordered to pay child support or maintenance, he doesn't have to sign a quit claim deed, nor does he have to pay off the two credit cards in my name. All of this was court ordered, but now he is off the hook. We are literally left starving. I must say this was a very cleaver move on his part.
—Guest Joanie

I'm Scared to File for Child Support

I haven't really filed for child support. I left my "spouse" (he made me think we had a legit muslim marriage and it was not so) when my child was about 2 because in my absence he had carried a younger girl into our home. On top of that, he tried to throw me from the second floor. I called the police, but the one who came was an acquaintance of his. He had these jokers in his hands because of the business he had. Anyway, when I left him, he warned me to keep my mouth shut about things I knew about him and forced me to withdraw from any attempt of getting any money for me or our son. That'd be the only way I would rest assure that I'd wake up and see my child next to me. Besides that, if I said anything I would no longer see my child. He'd make sure I searched all over with no success (if he decided to let me live). Now I am in college and I'm struggling. It's extremely hard to make ends meet. I need that support, but I can't let him stay alone with him. I might not see my child again!!
—Guest Nahimah

Erie County Has its Own Rules

My ex lied about everything and has been getting away with it for 5 years. I am the primary residential parent. I provide for the children's health care, meals, clothing, ortho, etc. But I still have to pay child support to my unemployed (5 years after the divorce) deadbeat ex-wife, who moved her boyfriend in the day I moved out -- all while denying she was having an affair! Her and her boyfriend work under the table and he doesn't pay child support for his 3 kids and she collects over $18K a year from me. I want to save for my kids education but since I lost everything in the divorce and had to buy a new house to provide for the kids, furnish it, and pay all the other expenses, I'm stretched to the limit. Meanwhile, my ex steals the clothes I buy for the kids and parties it up. Other NY counties don't support deadbeat moms, but Erie County, NY does. The whole system is corrupt and run by women who treat good responsible fathers as abusive criminals.
—Guest New York Victim

The Child Support System is a Joke!

My child is now 6 years old. I filed for child support 2.5 years ago after I gave her father many chances to start helping. We live in two different states. He is in the National Guard and working. When I filed in 2008 it took them 1 year of messing around to say they couldn't find him and dropped my case. Mind you, I have his home address, his work address, and he's in the army! So after they threw my case out I re-filed and waited and waited. Finally, 6 months later, I got a check from the agency for a whopping $25! I received $25 for three months. Then, after the court date (which was 3 months ago), I received $58. So I'm thinking $58 a week is great. It will help tremendously! I'm a full time nursing student so I need all the help I can get. So since the court date I received $58, $33, $50, and $8 (yes, $8.00). That repeated for 2 months. Now I get nothing! No one has any information, and I still have no copies of the court documents! the other agency won't give me information, and mine isn't doing anything! It's a joke.
—Guest pissed off!

They Reported the Wrong Income Amount

NC Guilford County Child Support was given my paycheck stubs, yet they knowingly reported a much higher income to the judge and no one wants to help. The sad thing is I could provide a much better home for my child than the mother, who is unemployeed so she can milk the government for aid and collect child support to raise my son in the ghetto. What a joke and they ALL know it.
—Guest Lyle Williamsn

My Ex's Employer is Holding the Money

My son's father and I get along very well. We agreed upon a lower amount for child support - something he could easily manage that would cover half the costs of what I typically pay per month for our son's expenses. He pays his employer a set amount weekly, but his employer seems to be holding onto the money and not sending it to the state within the 5 days they're supposed to. The state is doing nothing about it. I am not even getting the full amount per month from the child support agency that I should be getting, yet when I check the balances on the website, the total amount I am owed is going down! It's not going up as it should be. Both of us are bewildered and agitated with both his employer and the child support agency. We've both tried to get help from the state, but no one seems to be taking our case seriously. If the money his employer is taking out isn't going to me for our son, where is it going? That's all we want to know.
—Guest WI Mom

Mother paid cash & hiding money

I have to start off by saying that I have never missed a child support payment or been late paying. I am always 1 to 2 weeks ahead in payments. My ex has a work history of working for the schools in NJ as a teacher. She refuses to get a job on the books. Instead, she is working for her brother, being paid cash, and is collecting welfare. When this was brought to the judge's attention and she was questioned under oath, she lied and the judge believed her with no proof. After, I hired a private investigator and provided the audio, video, and written report to the court. The judge just brushed it under the table and refused to hold her for lying under oath. So why does a court believe a female with no supporting documents? In addition, the judge made a sexist remark to me, implying that I have no legal right with respect to my children. I hear that the same judge has done this to a number of men, too. Why do the courts allow a judge to make rulings with such biases? He treats good fathers like they're bad fathers. Why?
—Guest carring father

No Justice

The child support agency has been stonewalling me. One of the fathers' attorneys knows my attorney. Child support even said one of the fathers was deceased! Then I hired a detective. He said he wasn't. Then I hired a laywer. One of the fathers owns two succesful construction companies and is an engineerer in Prospect, Kentucky. The other father was an excuetive consultant of a major tobacco firm that moved to North Carolina. They even made a movie about the tobacco company. I love my sons very much. I feel that there should be justice for the poor.
—no.jusstice

No Justice in Shelby County, TN

There is no justice in TN as far as child support. I have 3 children. I pay $600 per month for my 16 & 17 year olds from my previous marriage. I pay $973.00 per month for my 6 year old. I only make approximately $38,000 per year. I paid $1,300 to file the appeal to Jackson, TN Appeals Court and $3,500 in attorney fees for nothing. My child's mother was found guilty of submitting fictitious income information. She reported for the last 4 years that she makes $24,000 per year, my attorney reported that she makes $40,000 per year, which affects how much I pay. In addition, I made $50,000 with overtime the year my child was born. Child support keeps using that income to determine my amount and they refuse to give me credit for my other two children, even though I have provided documentation. In Appeals court they sided with the mother after all of this because they said I had no transcript from the prior court. Shelby county had destroyed the transcript before the 1 year time limit. Its all a setu
—MemphisDad

Child Support Protects Deadbeat Fathers

I have a son that is 15 years of age. His father been in prison two times, for half of my son's life. The state tells me that they can't help because he's locked up. He's never taken care of my son. He hasn't even seen him since he was born. And he write my son to tell him that he is his father! I'm sorry, but it takes a real man to be a father. He tells my son he has a lot to tell him. What is that about? He has been a drug dealer all his life. That's all he knows. He has about ten other kids from different woman, and he doesn't take of any of them. My son is his frist born. And his mother is not any better. She doesn't even know me, but she talks about me all the time. His mother knows that he doesn't take care of his kids, and she don't say anything. I have a little girl, too. She is 10. My ex-husband doesn't want anything to do with her. He gets an SSI check every month. Once again I'm told that the state can't help me. All he would have to do would be to go to the SS office and give them my daughter's information, and she would get a check, too. But if he did, it would cut his money. That's why.
—Guest From Titusville FLa

Here is My Child Support Story

Well, here's my story. I have five children that I support through child support, medical/life/dental, and other basic things. I love my children, so I've taken it all, but recently I am a little hurt by the system. I was placed in jail for 4 days for failing to appear to court in WV. I was picked up the same day I recieved the notice of the appearance. In other news, even though I pay the support, I rarely get to see my children and it seems as though I'm just wanted for money and that's it. My youngest two live with their grandparents in Bunkerhill, WV, and they took me to court for child support. Where is the mother? Not with my children. She is in Hagerstown, MD, sponging off the system and not paying child support. She's not even trying to work, she's with a known drug dealer, and she is allowed to see the kids anytime she wants, but I can't even get a call in.
—Guest Darrish

Why I am Not a Deadbeat Dad!

I need to tell my story to someone, so here I go... I have been beaten down by my kids' mother in court & by the kids too! I have paid child support ever since my little girl was born 3/31/89. We did live together for some time when the kids were little and I was paying her mother for us to live there & was still paying child support when she got a wild hair up her butt & thought it was okay to cheat on me. I found out and moved out. Well that wasn't good enough for her, so I moved to Flordia & gave up on everything I have ever known or loved to start a new life... Well, again, that wasn't good enough as she beat me down to my kids, & when I would call she would call me every name in the book in the background. Okay forward this to 2009 & the kids hate me and are told lies about what kind of person I am and who I became. In 2007 I lost my job and used all my 401k money to pay child support & had to find a meaningless job for them to take half of my part-time pay & not give me my driver's licence back!
—Guest Tom

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