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Readers Respond: Child Support Horror Stories

Responses: 259

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Never Give Up

My children are 16 and 18. Their father and I divorced before the youngest turned one because he was having an affair. We never went to court, but he agreed to pay $600 a month and provide medical insurance. He hasn't. The only reason he has even been involved in their lives is because I made it a point to involve him. I even "rented" a room to him for several years so that my children would be around their dad. That was a huge mistake! He never took on the dad role. I did everything from paying all the bills, helping with homework, and teaching them to ride a bike to taking them to every single doctor's appointment. He only made my job more difficult by being there, so three years ago I told him to leave. That was way over due. He moved in with his parents to mooch off of them. He owes me over $35,000 in arrearage and medical bills. I filed paperwork with the court. He hired an attorney and now wants custody of my oldest (who has been staying with him at his parent’s house). What a loser!
—Guest momfirst

Crying Every Night

I am 25 years old and I had my son when I was 20. His father and I had a great relationship up until I got pregnant. While I was with child he would go out with friends constantly because he was the only one working and it was his time to relax. After I had my son the partying continued. In the meantime I was spending all quality time with our son. Our relationship got worse and worse. He was becoming verbally abusive and almost hit me a few times. So when our son was 9 months old, I decided to get away. I moved in with a friend and got 2 jobs within the firs week of leaving. We shared everything: custody, daycare, medical expenses, and everyday life expenses. Well, he wanted more than I could provide at the time. He threatened to do all kinds of things if I didn't pay. So he decided that it was best for all of us to disappear completely with my son. He also applied for benefits and didn't list me as a contributor. I now pay child support for a son I don't even get to see a picture of.
—Guest Who's the Victim

Corrupt System

The California child support system does everything for the @$%^ and doesn’t care about the father or his new family. The first time I went to court to establish child support, she didn’t show. The judge told me maybe she forgot. BS! She has never even been in the courtroom, and they give her every benefit of the doubt. She has moved out of state and now I cannot serve her because I don’t know where she is. Oh yeah, and she wasn’t supposed to leave the county without notifying me. The county has not helped in any way to even find out where she is or see my son. It’s all up to me. I owe back support and tell them she took my son; they say you have to take her to custody court, which is different that support court -- where the father gets no help at all. The county handles everything for her. I was 18 when I knocked her up, and since I was young I wanted to give the baby up for adoption, but the ultimate decision is with her, so she should have to take care of it. BS! The woman is the devil!
—Guest guest

Corrupt System

The California child support system does everything for the @$%^ and doesn’t care about the father or his new family. The first time I went to court to establish support she didn’t show. The judge told me maybe she forgot. BS! She has never even been in the courtroom and they give her every benefit of the doubt. She has moved out of state and now I cannot serve her because I don’t know where she is. Oh yeah, and she wasn’t supposed to leave the county without notifying me. The county has not helped in any way to even find out where she is or help me see my son. It’s all up to me. I owe back support and tell them she took my son, and they say you have to take her to custody court (which is different than support court) where the father gets no help at all. The county handles everything for her. I was 18 when I knocked her up and since I was young I wanted to give it for adoption, but the ultimate decision is with her so she should have to take care of it. BS! The woman is the devil.
—Guest guest

Child Support or Not

My ex girlfriend and child support took the money I got from my oldest daughter’s death, who was a minor at the time. And they said it was an income and used it for child support. How can money from the death of a child be used as child support? It was paid to me for the loss of my daughter. The half-siblings all received money for their loss also, so the kids I pay child support for got money for my daughter’s death. How can these people sleep at night? It raised my child support to $2,000 a month. I pay my ex $800 a month. The rest is arrears, and they act like I am wrong. But all the money I got paid my house off, and they knew it was gone. But they want me to sell my house or give it to my ex girlfriend and her husband and call it even. The kids are 18 now. Go figure!
—Guest childs death

My Brother's Baby Momma

I know this is stupid, but my brother’s baby momma moved here from Texas about a month and a half ago, supposedly for 4 years to get her life together -- leaving a boyfriend in Texas (who she said she's going back to at the end of 4 years). Within 2 weeks she gets pregnant by my brother -- a good guy. He moves in and does everything for her. She doesn't let go of her ex and still tells him she's coming back, even with the baby. WTF? Is she serious? What can my brother do, legally? I can't find anything on the internet. They’re not married. They’re both teens.
—Guest tayylor

Dazed and Confused

I live in Sydney, Australia. I had shared custody of my three kids for six years (they lived with me, though). For six long years, my ex partner has not paid a cent in child support. The amount of loopholes in the law that she used, and I am not going to repeat them so no one gets duped like me, but here's one of them: She didn’t go out and get a job for six years. Why? Because in NSW, if you don't have a job and you are on any type of government payment, you pay maybe $25-$30 a week for three children. She then flipped the script and used another legal loophole and basically got my family court orders (that took four years to complete and thousands and thousands out of my pockets for lawyers; I even declared bankruptcy) thrown out of court due to violence which did not happen, and I now only have one of my three children living with me. And now I have to pay basically a whole week’s pay to support two kids; yet for six years, she did not pay a cent. I do not know how child support did not force her to pay. They now slug me for $1,000 a month. What’s with that?
—Guest Gobsmacked

Fear of Jail for Nonpayment . . .

A hearing has been scheduled for court for my back child support. I have been a single mom for 5 years with no vehicle and only working part time, living here and living there, with basically no money. So I got very behind on my support. I sent $25 here and there, just to show an effort. The AG closed my child support case because they could not serve my son's dad. So I re-applied. I went to court twice. Then they closed the freaking case because I didn't show up to court! But I was there and answered to all three docket calls! So they won't help me get child support, but I'm probably fixing to go to jail for something I could not help.
—Guest Sam

The System Sucks

My ex has custody of our daughter, and three judges gave him rights. I am ordered to pay child support to this man, who put me in the hospital for two weeks -- and he does drugs! He even has a record, and I don't have anything on mine. His parents took out a second mortgage; he is also five years older than me. When this happened I was 18 and he was 23. He lied to the judge about everything. I was scared of this man, hence the hospital he put me in. He also makes way more money than I do, and he even told me that the only reason I'm paying child support is because I got married, and that he would never have me again so he's making me pay. Why does the system allow this man to continue to take advantage of me and pay for his drugs? His girlfriend mistreats my daughter, and she crying every time I have to drop her back off there. It breaks my heart that the system only cares about money and not the children.
—Guest Texas Mom

Child Support Bank Cards

They should have a child support card where you can only buy diapers and baby food, baby clothes, or school supplies. Men need to get together and push this into law. I bet the baby population would go down drastically!
—Guest Robert Sherman

Deadbeat Mom

I paid for 18 years. Now the ex has not worked for like four years. So they lived only off my support while living with the grandparents, paying no rent or utilities. Now she has my daughter asking for money, which I know is only paying her mom’s car and cell phone bills. And my daughter is working and giving all her money to her mom. So I am still paying support, even after the court order ended. If I don't, I feel like I would be hurting my daughter. But I do feel like her mom is taking advantage of my love for my daughter. She says she can't work (bad ankles). How about a desk job or working from home on a PC? She can sit in front of the TV for 8 to 12 hours a day, but not at a desk working? I am a sucker.
—Guest JUSTADAD

It Doesn't Help

My mom and biological father split when I was still a toddler. Up until I was eight years old they were battling in court over visitation rights, child support, with my mom trying her hardest to keep me away from a no-good, lazy man who did everything in his power to make her look bad and insult her every time it was his weekend. For six years my mother did this by herself. Then my step-father came into the picture and, although we don't always get along, I appreciate what he has done for my mother, the brother and sister he has given me, and love him for being there when my "real" father wasn't. Recently, my Dad has tried to begin the adoption process. My bio-father has no visitation rights, owes around $30,000 in child support, and is completely out of the picture. Yet he refuses to allow my Dad to adopt me. He lives in another state than I do, but they border each other and he only lives 30 minutes away. I think it should be easier for a man with good intentions to adopt his stepdaughter.
—Guest Child

Strange Things Happen

My ex cheated and divorced me for this person. I left, and this man was in my home in less than a week. Instead of selling the home, she chose to remain in it and agreed to no child support. But, of course, I take care of my kids and give them what they need, and often times things they may not need. Now, their mother is attempting to get child support money directly from me, yet this was her idea. I just wanted to sell the home, split the profits, and would have gladly paid child support. Now, she’s in it with another man and I pay the mortgage company – who, of course, is not going to release me from the loan. So another man is leaving in my home. I honestly do anything for my sons and spend every available moment I have with them, unless it is a situation beyond my control. That includes financial and insurance. Why do people look down on me if I don't give their mother money directly, yet I do everything a good father and a dad can possibly do for his sons? All this and "time spent." I love them that much!
—Guest Mike

In Disbelief

My ex moved out of state after child support was court-ordered (right after his 4th son was born). He moved to Texas, which is the worse state to get support from. He was ordered to pay $798/mo. 17 years later he paid $60/mo, which he pays when he feels like it. I know he's getting some kind of disability, but child support states they can't attach whatever kind of income he's getting (how is that possible!?) and they can't tell me what it is. He has a brand new truck; I have no vehicle or job since I was laid off this year. How does he even have a license to drive since he's a deadbeat dad? How fair is that? And he wonders why his son won't speak to him or visit him. My son asked for a some financial assistance to enroll in school to become a paramedic. He was told to get a job! Great guy!
—jbeehm

Dad Chose Jail Over Paying Support

Yep, you read it right. My daughter’s father went crazy the night we brought her home from the hospital. I filed for a protective order and for custody with child support. He makes so much more than I do, he was ordered to pay $1,081.00 a month. He has (supposed) to be paying since she was born since, because I filed right when we split and she was only a week old. He went to jail for dunk driving and for not having a license in a car he stole from his job. He got out after serving two months on probation. Then he got arrested for first- and second-degree assault charges and violation of probation. He was bailed on a $25,000.00 bond. A week later he is now back in jail for possession of drugs and another VOP. Our daughter is now 17 months old. He owes nearly $15,000.00 in child support plus my attorney fees from when I took him to court the first time. He thinks I need to raise our daughter his way or he won't pay... I guess he's going to rot in jail, so he doesn't get to have a say anyway.
—Guest Angel

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