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Readers Respond: How to Handle Parent and Child Visitation Issues

Responses: 15

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Child visitation is supposed to be a time that both the parent and child look forward to, but there may be times when your child is reluctant and may even refuse to participate in visitation. Find out how to best handle this situation with these real-life child visitation stories. Share Your Story

Daughter hates to leave

I try to encourage my 3-year-old daughter when she has to go back to her mother, whom I share custody with. She gets very upset and cries. Pleads not to go. I don't know what to do. It is so hard to witness!
—Guest Brandon

She Doesn't Want To Go, Fears of Abuse

My ex only sought visitation after I started dating again and uses the child to torture me. She complains of abuse in his care and of neglect. She cries and screams when it's time to go for visits. She has recently been diagnosed with genital warts. CAS has been involved since he became involved and continue to let him see her, including overnights, because with no witnesses to the abuse she claims she suffers and her age, they say there is nothing they can do. Her father keeps her past his visitation times, and with a long sought order forcing the police to find her, they often don't take an interest. $65,000 into court fees later and the system has failed my child. When trying for public psych help for her to help her cope, she was refused because a. I'm handling her emotional state well and b. there's an active court case. I hurt for my baby and I'm at a loss. My next step is for a meeting with my MPP to discuss police refusal to follow order.
—Guest Systemfailed

Possesion

He has visitation every other weekend, but my child is only 1 year old and she is scared of him. I don't want my child to get some type of trauma, but Im not trying to keep her from him either but he doesn't want to make some work till she can get use to him what can i do.
—Guest Maritza benjume

When Will My Child Get a Normal Life?

My three year old crys, screams, hits at her father when I travel to Colorado for visitation that court ordered. I pay the whole bill but 200$ most of the time. It's a lot of money four times a year. He is mean to her I front of me when she doesn't want to go! I can't stand it. He is ordered to Skype with her every day yet he only does it when he feels like it. Yet blames me for her not wanting anything to do with him. He has introduced her to several partners he is a horrible role model as too how girls should be treated. I try my hardest to make sure he has a structured life, as friends, activity's. She is a happy sweet little girl. When I get her back it takes her the three months to read just before I have to take her agine. My Husband is the only one working I'm a stay at home mom. It's too expensive for me to put two children in Childcare in California. He is in the military so we cherish the time we can spend with him (my Husband). So sad, tired, and broke. She needs a normal life!
—Guest London Bridge is Falling Down.

I Want To See My Child

My child mother moved to another state with the baby a week after birth. I have been trying to see my child but she make it so difficult. She says i cant handle his crying. He is now 4 months and i been to visit him twice but its always a way she being to me. now she don't want me over at all and isn't picking up or texting me back. she lives in another state. i made visitations petition when the baby was about 2 months but she said she will work it out so i can see him but she haven't. so now i have a joint custody petition but she not signing for this petition and i still haven't seen my child for about a month. Her mother is also not responding and she mad of our argument and falling outs. its like their both against me being a active father. What could i do.
—Guest terryg

Equality

I hope and pray that one day all visitation and parental rights are equal. Non-Custodial Rights are not enforced and unfair, to child and parent. Once the Custodial parent decides to avoid standard visitations it becomes difficult. Non Custodial have many challenges to see their child. Never Give up.
—Guest Tony Texas

Child Does NOT Want to Go to Dad's

My daughter (who is ten) does not want to go to her dad for more than one reason, and... Well, I will make it short but not so sweet. She fears that her stepmom will hit her or that her dad will harm her, as well. Her stepmom has abused her other two kids (who are younger than my daughter), and she has seen sexual stuff happen with her dad and stepmom. And her dad has told her that he smokes pot so that her dad and stepmom do not fight. And also her younger half-sister has asked if she can live with me and her half-sister, and the reason is that her mom kicked her in the face. And also that all three of them do not get fed like they should. They go up to 8 hours with no food. I mean, what more do I have to say? And I have hot-lined it and the courts and cops will do nothing about it and she doesn't want me to go to jail. But like I told her, I want you safe and that is the main thing. Can someone please help us?
—Guest SingleMom020507

I Want My Overnight Stays With My Child

It is court ordered that I have alternating weekends and alternating holidays with my daughter, but my ex will not let me. Now she has filed a motion to not allow me any overnight stays with my child. I pay child support -- and very much, I might add. My daughter comes to visit a couple days a week but isn't allowed to stay. I am not a drunk or drug addict -- all I want is my daughter. I would think my ex would be happy; some people don't want anything to do with their kids. My daughter is 7, now and I have been fighting this for 7 years.
—Guest Jeff D.

Visitation Refusal

My 3 yr old daughter loved to visit me until her mother moved in with a boyfriend. Now the mother says our daughter doesn't want to come. But when I go to pick her up, there are other children playing with my daughter. So of course she wants to stay and play! But the mother will not discuss anything with me.
—Guest Kerry

Battered Divorced Visitation

I was battered by my ex-husband in the marriage and finally struggled and was divorced. We have one child, and I have sole custody and control, but he has visitation rights. He uses the pick up and drop off to continue to bully and abuse me in front of our 8-year-old, and sometimes she starts crying. He is bi-polar, is on heavy medication, and drives her to his home 150 miles away every other weekend and back again. I fear for her safety and want the abuse against me to stop. What can I do? [Note from Jen: If you're concerned for your child's safety, you should go back to court and ask for supervised visits.]
—lolapop18

Child Visitation Refusal

My 10-year-old daughter doesn't like visitations with her father. He is unemployed and doesn't pay child support. He never took part in her life and he is always seeking visitation. The court ordered them to have visitation once a month. And I still don't understand why he comes all the way from Montréal to Ottawa. He sometimes even cancels the visitation. I want to move with my daughter, and I have full custody.
—Guest Anonymous Girl

Violation of Visitation Rights

My visitation rights have been violated for two and a half years. My son's dad won't let me take him, and he has no reason for this. I can't get legal help because of my finances, and I've been ordered to pay child support. Meanwhile, I am a single mother caring for three children on my own. Life is so unfair!
—Guest Cgirl

Michigan Laws Concerning Visitation

Debrina wrote that if child refuses visit, the custodial doesn't have to let child visit. MI law differs from this. The law states that refusal is not valid excuse. I do not, however, know what the law says can be done about it. I hear that forcing child to come is not allowed, but I have no idea to the truth of it. I don't want to have to force my child, but if I have the right, I will. The custodial parent doesn't do anything about the child refusing. In situations where both parents live together and the child disrespects one of the parents, the other parent should discipline the child and have him or her apologize and reconcile with the other parent. As ex's, we should show the same respect for one another!
—Guest Ian

Older Kids Should Decide For Themselves

My girls (10 and 14) hate visitation with their father, who is selfish, continually unemployed, doesn't support them, and when they are together he puts his needs ahead of theirs and isn't responsible. For example, he skips their lunches because he "forgot" or was "busy," doesn't supervise the 10-year-old or acknowledge that she has a mild disability, has neglected their meds in the past, and once made the older one care for the younger one who was vomiting because he had guests. Why should they be forced to see him? I am in process of changing the visitation order so he has no more overnights. After that, I am sure that high school events will take precedence over visitation for my 14-year-old, and middle school activities will cause the visitations to dwindle for the younger one. In my opinion, the courts shouldn't force this on kids who are capable of speaking for themselves.
—RachelKaplan

I Send Them Anyway

My kids sometimes act like they don't want to go for visits with my ex, but I encourage them to do it anyway. I know they're safe there, so that's not an issue, and if the tables were turned, I wouldn't want him to let the kids opt out of seeing me. When they're older, maybe it will be a different story, but for now we stick to the schedule.
—Guest C. Burnes

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How to Handle Parent and Child Visitation Issues

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