Single parents' dating experiences can, unfortunately, be riddled with faux pas. For example, you think everything is going well, until the guy lets it slip that he doesn't want kids, ever. Or, the woman you're dating confides in you that she can't stand her niece and nephew - just when you were ready to tell her about the precious angels waiting for you back home!
Read about some of our readers' worst dating nightmares:
My boyfriend won't accept my kids.
- Four years ago I dated someone younger with no kids for 2 1/2 years. He is from a middle eastern country and I liked the fact that he was fresh with no kids. We talked about getting married. He would stay and always liked his own space. We split up after 2 1/2 years as I started feeling it was too separate. He'd go out too much and we were not going out together. He found kids hard and we split. I was devastated. After 1 1/2 years we got back together. Now it's been four, but he says we will get married and get a house. Then he is now saying wait for the children to grow up, as he can't bring them up with me. It's very hard. He's young, and he doesn't want mess his life up. I said, "But we are a unit." I want another baby with him. He says I have to wait. I'm 37, and he's 31. What do I do, as I am nuts about him! He will see me in his place, but he knows I am at home with my kids every night. He won't stay unless they are at school. He still won't see them, after all this time. And they used to call him daddy!
Bonding - No Go
- I ended up pretty much best friends with a mate I knew, and eventually he asked me out. He knew I had a 6 month old son at the time, and he had seen him when we had met up as friends, so they had already started to bond a little. Well, less than 6 months down line and the fella started to act weird and withdrawn. So I openly discussed things with him, and it turns out he wasn't feeling the whole role model dad situation, and he said my son wasn't his and he didn't want to bring a kid up who wasn't his! Well, that just baffled me! After one year of being around my son, he blew him out of the picture! I've totally lost faith in any daters that come along because I doubt any would really stick by me. The funny thing is, though, I never pressure any of them and I don't want them to be a babysitter, either - just a boyfriend and role model to my son.
- —Guest Kiz
I Can Relate to “gottwins12”
- I am a single mother of 2, and I have my kids all the time, except for every other weekend. As a single mother "dating" has not been the problem, but finding someone really interested in me and my kids - with potential for creating a beautiful relationship - is the problem. Men will be okay with me having kids, they are even okay with being around them and doing family activities, but they will never commit.
Date My Family
- Here is my quick story. I watched my Dad marry three different times. His marriage failed all three times. The reason was mainly due to the lack of relationship between the family of his wife and himself. The children were also a catalyst to the relationship in his POV. This is where the statement "when you date someone you not only date that person, but you also date their family" comes from. People need to understand this. It is not just about two people. A long-lasting relationship will include a strong relationship with both parties' families. The spark of the relationship at the beginning does not last forever. So what's left after that? Build your family. ~Rickie at datemyfamily.com
Our Breakup Left My Daughter Sad & Hurt
- Several years ago, I ran into an old high school boyfriend. Back then, I was not allowed to see him and we had to end it and went our own ways. More than 20 years went by and we ran into each other and started dating again. We both are single parents, and we were happy to be together again. I have a 7-year-old daughter (D.) who loves him and his 14-year-old daughter (L.), but she has been problematic with me and D. No matter what I tried, I was unwanted and her dad stood by her and supported her. I was diagnosed with cancer and went through the treatment with little support from them. L. was awful to me while I was being treated and she was jealous of D. I am now recovered and D. and myself are on our own. We sometimes see him and L., but it still turns out tense and unwelcoming. D. is in love with being a family and having a big sister, and this breaks my heart.
Done Dating Single Moms
- Dating a single mom was one the worst mistakes that I have ever made. At first I had an open mind about it but, after dealing with baby daddy drama, her kids, dirty diapers, manipulation, and getting cheated on, I decided that I've had enough. At this point l'm not even sure if I ever want to get married - let alone have kids. In fact, recently there was a beautiful women that I met at my job who had two kids, and she was really digging me, but when she asked for my number, I was completely honest with her. I said "I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but I've had too many bad experiences with dating single moms, and I don't want to take that out on you." She was hurt, but she understood. I have nothing against single moms, but it's just not for me. My experience shows me that it's just too much of a hassle.
A Stinky Situation!
- I had a bad experience with my new boyfriend’s child, who is 12. My new boyfriend and I dated briefly but broke it off because he was getting custody of his son. After 6 months of being miserable without him, he recently told me he was ready for a relationship, and within 10 days we got back together. I am head over heels about him and we were edging towards a deeper relationship. The problem happened after a few weeks of dating, when his child put his butt in my face and began to fart over and over again. I had to wrestle him to get it out of my face. His dad said it was the child's way warming up to me. I didn't agree. A week later, after our first all-day nature trip, the child did it again during dinner. I told him to stop three times, but he laughed at me as I left the room embarrassed and red faced. I told my boyfriend I felt hurt that he did nothing about his child's bad behavior and left. I wasn't raised to disrespect adults!
- —Guest She's a Lady
Wait...You Just Thought of That Now?
- I had been dating a very nice, successful man who knew I had a 3-year-old daughter right from word go. He met her and seemed interested in her and me, until 4 months later when he told me that his parents (this is a fully grown man) wouldn't like the fact that I had a child and that it wasn't in their plans for him to bring up another man's child! I told him I had thought he was a better man than that and he would never find anyone as good as me or my daughter again. It still hurt though!
- —Guest hurtheart
"I Don't Want to Marry into a Family."
- I was on a first date with a guy who was aware that I have a son. About midway into the date he looked straight at me and told me that he wasn't interested in marrying into a ready-made family. My jaw dropped. To make it worse, he asked me if I was looking for a father for my son. I looked right at him and said that my son has a father, and I'm not looking for a replacement. I then told him that I wasn't interested in getting married again any time soon. I have no desire to see him again!
- —Guest JustMom
Grown-Up Child Upset By My Dating
- I date a guy who is in his 30's . I am older than him, more than 10 years, but we get along great. My adult daughter is furious with me for seeing a guy younger than myself. She has cut me from her life. I feel I have the right to see whomever I like, and do not bring him around my kids. She has cut me off seeing my grandbabies, and that hurt me so much! I not sure how to handle this one.
- —Guest confused
"Just Give Them to Your Ex"
- I met a great guy who knew about my two sons and seemed to be okay with it because his mother was also a single mother. I thought he was wonderful until I started having some trouble with my ex-husband about custody. My boyfriend just tells me, "Just give them to him and we can move in together." I was flabergasted! Soon after this we ended our relationship.
- —Guest Erika
"Oh, by the way..."
- Well, I have an even crazier one. I met a guy who was successful, a policeman, high ranked, and attractive. We talked for extended periods of time on the phone. One night we met up after work to talk. And that's when he hit me with, "Oh, by the way, I'm married, but we're only together for our children, so when can we go see a movie or something?" That is when I exited stage right and deleted his number. I think I'll just stay single for a while.
- —Guest Stayingasinglemom
- I was dating a guy who was not very comfortable with my child, only to realize later that he had a child of his own! When I asked him about it, he said "But you also have one, so it's balancing."
- —Guest jacqueline
Wow...Did You Just Say That?
- I was dating a guy who knew about both of my kids and the fact that I was breastfeeding my daughter. Things were going well between us until things began to get intimate. Then, he would get highly irritated if I ever had to feed her. It even got to the point that he would ask every time he saw me either, "When are you gonna wean her?" or " I thought you said that she was in the process of giving up breastfeeding?" That totally made me lose interest in him because obviously he was so concerned with how he was being affected that he didn't care how she was adjusting.
- —Guest princessmom
Umm... YOU have FULL custody??
- I'm a father with full custody of my twins. I find it very hard to meet women who will date me. I have LOTS of women friends but when it comes to dating for romance, nope. I get plenty of "atta-boys" and moral support but I am not "dateable." Also there is an immediate assumption that there is extream drama in my life because children are ALWAYS with their mothers. It's pretty discouraging at times.
"Just Get Rid of Her"
- I was dating a guy who was fine with the fact that I'm a single mom, until he realized how much it influenced my life. Then I was met with: "Well, can't you get a babysitter?," "Just leave her with your parents," and, "It can't be that hard, just get rid of her." My thoughts were "Oh no, I'm done!"
- —Guest wildheart
- I had talked to a guy online through a friend and had mentioned before we met that I had a three-year-old son. He didn't say anything about it, so I assumed he was okay with it. When we finally did meet in person, I mentioned my son, and he seemed shocked--as if finding out for the first time. He responded with, "Wait, don't you have a pro-choice sticker on your car?" (Which I do). I said "yes," and he then said, "Well why do you have a kid then?" That response completely killed any interest I had with him. The night ended shortly after that, and I have not seen him since.
- —Guest Asprono