1. Parenting

Readers Respond: Worst Single Parents' Dating Faux Pas

Responses: 21

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Single parents' dating experiences can, unfortunately, be riddled with faux pas. For example, you think everything is going well, until the guy lets it slip that he doesn't want kids, ever. Or, the woman you're dating confides in you that she can't stand her niece and nephew - just when you were ready to tell her about the precious angels waiting for you back home!

Read about some of our readers' worst dating nightmares:

His Loss

I have four kids. Two months after I had my twin boys I met this guy through a friend, and we connected really quickly (both of us). But he was not looking for a relationship, so we started off as just friends. Then after two months of talking we got into an exclusive relationship and it went on for awhile. The whole time him knowing I had four kids. Slowly he began playing with and talking to my kids. Then we broke up and I continued to go to his house and stay there with my kids for up to a week. And then we would go home for a couple days. Finally I left the state and he finally decided to tell me that he really liked me and wanted to be with me -- he just couldn't handle the fact that I had four kids and he had none, and he didn't want any. But he still wants to be friends after seven months of being with me and my kids.
—Guest tiffany

Other Side of the Coin

I'm single with no kids and I try to give single parents a chance, but it’s hard. The first guy I ever dated said he was separated. Then he was back with his ex while we were dating. He later left her, too. Recently, a single dad wanted to meet, and then after I got all dressed said his ex was sick so he had the kids and he would call the next day. He never did. I felt stupid being all dressed up with nowhere to go on a Sat night.
—Guest allie

Lied to and Hurt

I met my boyfriend about a year ago, and started dating him after a mutual friend set us up. I told him on the first date about my kids. He seemed shocked, but accepting, and told me about his 19-year-old daughter. Things became very serious between us, he told me he loved me first, called me his wife on occasion, and started panning a wedding with me... (More than me, even!) His daughter, however, cut him off shortly after we started dating because she doesn't want him to date and doesn't like me, though she had met me only once. Even after this, he would play with my kids, laugh with them, accepted then into his home, etc. My kids really liked him and he seemed to like them. About a month ago, he did a sudden 180. He told me he can't handle them and doesn't want to marry me. He said he couldn't live without his daughter anymore, that I'm the reason she won't talk to him, and in order for him to like my kids he has to take those feelings from his daughter. I just don't know what to do now. I'm so hurt.
—Guest treeoflife

Heartbroken from Un-acceptance

I met a guy online who I thought was a perfect man for me. Everything was a match, from his looks to being vegetarian and humanitarian, owning his own business for 17 years, and having a beautiful home. Then I found out that he refused to ever have children. And he said that if he changed his mind, he would only have his own biological children! I completely fell in love with him, but I felt some distance a few months in and broke up. I felt as if, after 4 months of many dates, he was not involved in my life. He didn't even know where I lived! He had never met my children, but he never mentioned NOT meeting them. I was waiting until I thought we were serious. Finally, he admitted he would never want children. Heartbroken, I left for 2 weeks and came back for a few months, broke up again for 2 weeks, then went back for a few MORE months, and finally, last week, ended it for good. It was a fairytale, for sure, but I'm done wasting time. And even though it seems so devastating, I realize that he wasn't perfect (but rather selfish), after all!
—Guest Sacrosanct

My boyfriend won't accept my kids.

Four years ago I dated someone younger with no kids for 2 1/2 years. He is from a middle eastern country and I liked the fact that he was fresh with no kids. We talked about getting married. He would stay and always liked his own space. We split up after 2 1/2 years as I started feeling it was too separate. He'd go out too much and we were not going out together. He found kids hard and we split. I was devastated. After 1 1/2 years we got back together. Now it's been four, but he says we will get married and get a house. Then he is now saying wait for the children to grow up, as he can't bring them up with me. It's very hard. He's young, and he doesn't want mess his life up. I said, "But we are a unit." I want another baby with him. He says I have to wait. I'm 37, and he's 31. What do I do, as I am nuts about him! He will see me in his place, but he knows I am at home with my kids every night. He won't stay unless they are at school. He still won't see them, after all this time. And they used to call him daddy!
—atlantis777

Bonding - No Go

I ended up pretty much best friends with a mate I knew, and eventually he asked me out. He knew I had a 6 month old son at the time, and he had seen him when we had met up as friends, so they had already started to bond a little. Well, less than 6 months down line and the fella started to act weird and withdrawn. So I openly discussed things with him, and it turns out he wasn't feeling the whole role model dad situation, and he said my son wasn't his and he didn't want to bring a kid up who wasn't his! Well, that just baffled me! After one year of being around my son, he blew him out of the picture! I've totally lost faith in any daters that come along because I doubt any would really stick by me. The funny thing is, though, I never pressure any of them and I don't want them to be a babysitter, either - just a boyfriend and role model to my son.
—Guest Kiz

I Can Relate to “gottwins12”

I am a single mother of 2, and I have my kids all the time, except for every other weekend. As a single mother "dating" has not been the problem, but finding someone really interested in me and my kids - with potential for creating a beautiful relationship - is the problem. Men will be okay with me having kids, they are even okay with being around them and doing family activities, but they will never commit.
—Paloma123

Date My Family

Here is my quick story. I watched my Dad marry three different times. His marriage failed all three times. The reason was mainly due to the lack of relationship between the family of his wife and himself. The children were also a catalyst to the relationship in his POV. This is where the statement "when you date someone you not only date that person, but you also date their family" comes from. People need to understand this. It is not just about two people. A long-lasting relationship will include a strong relationship with both parties' families. The spark of the relationship at the beginning does not last forever. So what's left after that? Build your family. ~Rickie at datemyfamily.com
—RickieCruz

Our Breakup Left My Daughter Sad & Hurt

Several years ago, I ran into an old high school boyfriend. Back then, I was not allowed to see him and we had to end it and went our own ways. More than 20 years went by and we ran into each other and started dating again. We both are single parents, and we were happy to be together again. I have a 7-year-old daughter (D.) who loves him and his 14-year-old daughter (L.), but she has been problematic with me and D. No matter what I tried, I was unwanted and her dad stood by her and supported her. I was diagnosed with cancer and went through the treatment with little support from them. L. was awful to me while I was being treated and she was jealous of D. I am now recovered and D. and myself are on our own. We sometimes see him and L., but it still turns out tense and unwelcoming. D. is in love with being a family and having a big sister, and this breaks my heart.
—jendeerie

Done Dating Single Moms

Dating a single mom was one the worst mistakes that I have ever made. At first I had an open mind about it but, after dealing with baby daddy drama, her kids, dirty diapers, manipulation, and getting cheated on, I decided that I've had enough. At this point l'm not even sure if I ever want to get married - let alone have kids. In fact, recently there was a beautiful women that I met at my job who had two kids, and she was really digging me, but when she asked for my number, I was completely honest with her. I said "I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but I've had too many bad experiences with dating single moms, and I don't want to take that out on you." She was hurt, but she understood. I have nothing against single moms, but it's just not for me. My experience shows me that it's just too much of a hassle.
—RYU2582

A Stinky Situation!

I had a bad experience with my new boyfriend’s child, who is 12. My new boyfriend and I dated briefly but broke it off because he was getting custody of his son. After 6 months of being miserable without him, he recently told me he was ready for a relationship, and within 10 days we got back together. I am head over heels about him and we were edging towards a deeper relationship. The problem happened after a few weeks of dating, when his child put his butt in my face and began to fart over and over again. I had to wrestle him to get it out of my face. His dad said it was the child's way warming up to me. I didn't agree. A week later, after our first all-day nature trip, the child did it again during dinner. I told him to stop three times, but he laughed at me as I left the room embarrassed and red faced. I told my boyfriend I felt hurt that he did nothing about his child's bad behavior and left. I wasn't raised to disrespect adults!
—Guest She's a Lady

Wait...You Just Thought of That Now?

I had been dating a very nice, successful man who knew I had a 3-year-old daughter right from word go. He met her and seemed interested in her and me, until 4 months later when he told me that his parents (this is a fully grown man) wouldn't like the fact that I had a child and that it wasn't in their plans for him to bring up another man's child! I told him I had thought he was a better man than that and he would never find anyone as good as me or my daughter again. It still hurt though!
—Guest hurtheart

"I Don't Want to Marry into a Family."

I was on a first date with a guy who was aware that I have a son. About midway into the date he looked straight at me and told me that he wasn't interested in marrying into a ready-made family. My jaw dropped. To make it worse, he asked me if I was looking for a father for my son. I looked right at him and said that my son has a father, and I'm not looking for a replacement. I then told him that I wasn't interested in getting married again any time soon. I have no desire to see him again!
—Guest JustMom

Grown-Up Child Upset By My Dating

I date a guy who is in his 30's . I am older than him, more than 10 years, but we get along great. My adult daughter is furious with me for seeing a guy younger than myself. She has cut me from her life. I feel I have the right to see whomever I like, and do not bring him around my kids. She has cut me off seeing my grandbabies, and that hurt me so much! I not sure how to handle this one.
—Guest confused

"Just Give Them to Your Ex"

I met a great guy who knew about my two sons and seemed to be okay with it because his mother was also a single mother. I thought he was wonderful until I started having some trouble with my ex-husband about custody. My boyfriend just tells me, "Just give them to him and we can move in together." I was flabergasted! Soon after this we ended our relationship.
—Guest Erika

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