Question: What Can I Do If My Coparent Won't Bring Our Children to Church?
Even though my ex-husband knows I'd like the kids to attend church services during holidays like Christmas and Easter, he never seems to take them to services when they spend these holidays with him. Is there anything I can do to make him understand how important it is to me that the children spend these holidays in church?
Answer:
Yes, there is. First, you can talk to your ex-husband about your concerns. If you want to change something he's doing, having a calm and rational conversation about it is usually the best place to start. Perhaps if he has the opportunity to understand why you feel so strongly about the children attending church services on religious holidays, he will consider bringing them.
However, it's also important to realize that your coparent isn't going to parent the same way you would in every situation. This doesn't have to mean, though, that your kids must miss out on the spiritual growth that you envision for them. There is a lot you can do to share your spiritual beliefs outside of attending formal religious services. For example:
- Read books together that explain the religious and historical meaning behind holidays like Christmas and Easter.
- Do activities that illustrate the meaning of these holidays. For example, you can make "Resurrection Buns" or "Easter Story Cookies" at Easter.
- Share with your children what these holidays mean to you personally.
- Put more emphasis on their hearts than on your kids' church attendance records.
- Realize that your children will come to their own spiritual conclusions in time. What you can do now is lay a strong foundation by teaching them the beliefs you hold dear.
- This can be done in many different ways, and attending church services is only one component of passing down your strong religious beliefs to your children.
- Also consider using other mediums to share faith lessons with your kids, such as music and movies.
