Father's Day can be a challenging time for single moms. Perhaps you would like to help your kids acknowledge the day, but you aren't sure quite how to address it without making them (or you) feel worse. Whether you're single by choice, or you have experienced divorce or loss, these Father's Day ideas can help make the day more smooth and enjoyable for you and your kids.
1. Anticipate That This May be a Difficult Time for Your Kids
Mother's Day and Father's Day present special challenges for children of single parents. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and imagine how
you might feel. Even when there
isn't a close relationship, children have an inherent desire to experience closeness with both parents. Anticipating this need, and realizing that it occurs whether the other parent has "earned" it or not, can make the day less painful for you.
2. Resist the Urge to Pass Judgment
You might be tempted to point out why you don't think the other parent is deserving of a special day. As much as you can, try to keep these feelings to yourself, or make plans to talk with an adult friend about how you're feeling. Your child's desire to celebrate Father's Day is natural and doesn't take away from all that you do for your kids.
3. Your Attitude Will Set the Tone
As in most situations, your attitude and approach will set the tone for how your children react. If you're angry and resentful, they will pick up on this and be apprehensive about sharing their feelings or even feel guilty for celebrating the day. As much as you can, try to be generous to your children in accepting their feelings and giving them permission to celebrate the day in a way that is meaningful
for them.
4. Allow Your Kids to Freely Express Themselves
Given permission to celebrate the holiday, your children will let you know how they'd like to acknowledge Father's Day. This, of course, doesn't mean that you have to overextend yourself creating elaborate gifts and plans! The idea is for
the children to participate in the day to the extent that they want to. For children who've experienced loss, creating a card or writing a simple poem can be therapeutic and meaningful.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
This is also a time to be gentle to yourself. It might be downright difficult to watch your children express their fondness for someone you're in conflict with, or you might find yourself grieving more deeply the loss of a spouse when you glimpse how deeply your child misses him. If you can, plan to spend the day with friends or family who support you, or make some time to take a walk or indulge in a special treat while your children visit with their father or grandfather.
