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Wise Single Parent Dating Choices

Learn to Be Picky About Who You Date


Boy with two adults having fun in front of house
Troels Graugaard/E+/Getty Images

As a single parent, dating can be a fun and exciting part of your life. However, it's important to keep in mind that there are worse things than not being in a relationship at all - like being in a destructive one. That's why you have to be more careful than ever about who you choose to date. Use the acronym "CHECK" to help you make wise dating decisions:

Character (C) - A person's character reveals who they are when no one is looking. When it comes to dating, you're not just concerned with an individual's integrity and moral character. You also need to look at whether they're able and willing to maintain a job, resolve conflict, and delay gratification. Another important component to character is how we react to anger. Becoming out of control or explosive, or taking anger out on others, should definitely be deal breakers.

Healthy Relationships (H) - Take a look at his or her relationships with extended family members, authority figures (like bosses), and (if applicable) his or her ex. Beware of a tendency to blame others, and take special notice of how he or she treats loved ones.

Easy to Be Around (E) - Do you share common interests? Do you have fun together? These factors are important to consider, along with whether you are physically attracted to one another.

Children (C) - Pay attention to how he or she interacts with your children. In addition, consider his or her experience with kids, such as nieces or nephews. It's particularly helpful to have similar expectations of how children should behave and what life with children underfoot is really like.

Kindness (K) - Never underestimate the importance of how someone else treats you. Everything else will fall away with time, but how he or she makes you feel will endure. So if you're not consistently feeling good about yourself in his or her presence, that's a red flag that this dating relationship may not be healthy for you.

Try it for yourself. Apply the acronym "CHECK" to your next single parent dating relationship to make sure that you're making wise choices - for yourself and your children.

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