In today's world, you can never be too careful when it comes to your children's safety. How, then, can you determine whether someone you are dating can really be trusted with your children? While there is no easy litmus test to tell you for sure, there are some reassuring signs and qualities that can put your mind at ease. The following indications should help you assess whether the person you are dating can be trusted with your children:
- You've known him or her for a long period of time.
Until you've known each other for at least a year, there's just no need to leave someone you're dating alone with your children.
- You've seen him or her react to stressful situations.
How does this person handle pressure? How does he or she react when things don't go as planned? You want to have a sense for how unexpected events change this person's personality.
- You know some of his or her faults.
Sadly, if someone seems "too good to be true," he or she probably is.
- You trust him or her completely with your own safety.
If there's even an inkling of mistrust there, then you should not continue the relationship, let alone leave this person alone with your children.
- You have no nagging concerns regarding this person's personality.
For example, if you occasionally feel manipulated into doing something, or you realize this person doesn't have a high degree of consideration for others, you should pay close attention to these red flags.
- You can talk openly together.
If you're subliminally watching what you say and do when you're with this person, then that's an indication that you don't trust him or her to be completely accepting of you and your children.
- Your friends trust him or her.
It may seem extreme to suggest that you need your friends to approve of someone you're dating. However, your friends can look at him or her objectively and point out any concerns which may be temporarily overshadowed by the affection and excitement you share.
- You've met his or her extended family.
While this isn't always necessary - or perhaps even possible in some situations - it is another layer to the knowledge that you have about this person.