When it comes to dealing with your ex and phone calls, you'll need to set some clear boundaries from the start. For example:
- No phone calls after 10:00 p.m.
- Do not call the kids after their established bed times.
- No yelling over the phone.
One way to do this is to create a set of rules you can both agree to, and then treat it like a contract. This way, when one you breaks the contract by calling after 10:00 p.m. or yelling over the phone, the other can simply say, "We agreed not to do this."
Remember, too, that we teach other people how to treat us by what we tolerate. So if your ex phones after the kids are in bed and wants to talk with them, breaking down and getting them on the line - just to avoid an argument - will only serve to teach him or her that it's okay to call at that time of night. To avoid this, you've got to stick to your own rules, even if that means letting your voicemail take the call after the kids are in bed.
