This week's Thriving Single Parent story comes from a comment written by a single mom named Brandi. In response to my post about whether schools should be sensitive to kids whose life experience doesn't include a dad, Brandi wrote:
I am a widow with two girls, 13 and 7. My oldest daughter has never had a functional relationship with her biological father, since he can't keep away from drugs and prison. I also grew up without my real father, and my step dad left after 10 years. Do I feel these kinds of books are insensitive? No! I believe it is a great experience for children who have not had that sort of family. I welcome questions and emotions from my girls. It means they are alive and still have feelings. I let my children do what needs to be done to be sure they get all they can out of life. And that means going through pain and confusion so they can grow. Sheltering them makes things harder later.
Brandi has obviously put a lot of thought into what's best for her kids as they deal with the experience of loss and parental absence. What impresses me is her willingness to extend beyond what is comfortable in order to do what is best. I bet you do that every day, too, in big and small ways. Take some time to reflect on that today. Specifically:
- When have you recently watched your kids go through something difficult or challenging?
- What was that like for you? And how did the experience help you grow as a parent?
- How have you resisted "rescuing" your kids so that they could learn to work it out for themselves?
- What conversations have sprouted between yourself and your kids as a result?
Feel free to share your experience with our readers, too, by leaving a comment below.