I received the following story from a reader named Sarah, who wrote in to share her strategy for adjusting to life as an "Empty Nest Single Parent":
My strategy has been to shift my focus. I'm now doing more things for myself, like making a point of spending time with friends and doing some of the things I used to wish I "had time for." The other thing that I'm doing is intentionally shifting my focus on my kids to their adult lives. We used to talk over dinner; now we talk on the phone or over lunch. For me, realizing that our relationship has changed - but certainly not disappeared - has helped. My kids are every bit as important to me as they've ever been.
To me, Sarah's strategy is rooted in a technique that successful single parents adopt early on: flexibility. Of course your relationship with your emerging young adult children is going to be different from the bond you shared when they were younger--but the new relationship is no less vital to both of your lives.
If you have a suggestion for how soon-to-be empty nesters can adapt, share it with us in the "Readers Respond" feature titled How to Adjust to Becoming an Empty Nest Single Parent.
Today is a sad day in America. I’m not bashing the single parent status, but I am bashing the American definition of what a single parent is. How can a person be considered a single parent if both parents are still living? Its sad to say couples married are taxed at a higher rate than then people making bad decisions on unprotected sex. My father raised 3 boys and never relied on the system. I didn’t have the privilege to go to private schools at a discount rate, Or purchase a section 8 home paying $4 dollars month with a 1700 a month hand-out from the government. It’s a shame Our president whole campaign was about change, we heard the massege voted, but remained the same. You might ask, why are you writting this message?
Because to me ,I strongly feel this pink elephant in the room, need to be addressed with the since urgency . To protect the most important asset, (The American Family). Instead of benifiting or rewarding these people that fall in that category but, some kind of punishment need to rendered or some kind of strong reprocushion for not providing
essential parenthood to chidern under the age 18.Belive it or not that single parent staus is like a cancer to married couples.The only single parents I reconize in this country are when only 1 parent is living. Thank Justice
The thing that you’re missing is that single parent families are American families! And I, personally, believe that all this talk I hear of the unfair “benefits” single parents receive is, for the most part, misinformed. Married couples can choose to file their taxes separately if they think that will benefit them financially. And I’ve never heard of a legitimate single parent homebuying program like the one you described. Please tell us more about it–I’d love to share it with our readers if it’s legitimate. But I suspect that it’s more of the same misleading stuff that makes people falsely believe single parents are afforded some kind of free ride, when it’s anything but.
First of all define single parent. I ask you how can you define single parent when both parents are living. No such animal. Justice
to the person who wrote this… You dont know what you are talking about, you dont know waht is to raise a family with only one income and still find time for everything that is involved with the family… with all my respect, leave your anger and fustration and stop talking nonsense. thanks
This whole subject is about taking responsibility for your actions as a parent. I have 2 boys and 1 daughter, still in love with my wife after 23 years of marriage. As a father I still provided essential care and love for all my children, why because I chose to own up to my responsibility as a parent. Whatever decision I choose to make I think about the totality of the circumstances, because I realize not only will it affect me, but my seeds as well. So the next time you make a critical decision like going half on a baby, Say to yourself is this Mr. or Mrs. Right or Mr. or Mrs. Right now. Oh that’s right I don’t know what it is like to raise kids by myself and that’s my point and no one should have too if both parents are living
Do you have any idea how many parents are single b/c the other person decided to bail? It’s great that you and your wife have remained committed to your relationship and your kids. But there a lot of parents out there–both men and women–who felt just as committed as you do, only to find that the other person “opted out” and left them to raise their kids alone. It happens every day. And I get the sense that you’d call walking away w/o looking back a crime. I agree, but let’s not blame the people left behind, who are picking up the pieces and working to give their kids the best life they can. It’s wrong to assume that every single parent is “single by choice.” You also asked me to define “single.” Any parent who is raising their kids on their own, and that includes co-parents who’ve separated/divorced, but are technically on their own w/ the kids for part of the time (whether through shared custody or a regular visitation schedule), as well as parents whose former partners have chosen to be completely uninvolved. There are many avenues by which a once-partnered parent becomes a single parent. And as a parent w/ a built-in back up system, you may have a hard time imagining what it’s really like to be the only adult present for every split-second discipline decision, financial issue, ounce of homework, etc., etc., but please don’t judge those who are out there in the trenches!
I’m sorry for the X- meaning excuses, but when this type of living behavior affects my household, where I’m taxed at a higher rate than others making bad decisions I certainly have a problem with that. And furthermore; involve the kids, it’s a shame. And most of all to categorize yourselves as single parents and not give the real single parents the type of justice and support due when only one parent is living It’s a slap in the face of America. It’s time to pay your bill. Justice
First off, your father raising 3 children on his own is great, but it was a different time back then. I’m pregnant with my first and I make $45,000 annually, before taxes of course. What I bring home is rent money, car note, bills, student loans, insurance, and etc. I travel when I work, so I work 3 days on, 2 days off; what’s even better is that I get medical benefits, but that’s not the kind job I want to do and raise a child at the same time. My family is in another state and I have no one to help. The baby’s father lives in another state as well and we are no longer together. I make too much money to get ANY assistance from the government, I can’t even get WIC. I am faced with the most difficult decision I will ever have to make in my life; quit my job which I don’t want to do, or move back home with my family for help and support; and yes. . . use your tax money as well. I thought like you did Justice, until it happened to me. I admit I’m to blame for my situation but I can’t control my baby’s father. HE WILL PAY !!!I’m glad you’re owning up to your responsibilities and stepping up as a man. But all men don’t think like that. It’s ashamed that women have to go through this, and become a stastic. What’s even worse is that all the blame is pointed towards the women. Call me naive, but am I a bad person for putting my trust in a man and giving him my heart and my body only for him to run away from his responsibility? I commend all the SINGLE parents out there, keep doing what you’re doing by any means necessary!