Three separate articles caught my attention this week in the Orlando Sentinel, all highlighting the challenges faced by families who find themselves at the mercy of a bureaucratic child support system. The first piece, Owed Child Support in Florida? Good Luck by Mary Shanklin, details multiple examples of the recent decline in the effectiveness of Florida's Office of Child Support Enforcement.
The second piece, Florida Has $28 Million for Child Support, Can't Find Recipients, also written by Mary Shanklin, covers another prevalent child support collection issue: undistributed funds. (Imagine paying into a system that isn't turning that money over to your children? Sadly, due to changes in data management, this problem isn't unusual; nor is it limited to the state of Florida.)
The third piece is a blog post written by Katie Powalski, titled Not Holding Breath for Child Support, in which the single mother details her own ongoing struggle to receive child support, including being told by the Office of Child Support Enforcement that her case was stalled due to her own "uncooperative" attitude.
I wish we could say these cases of lost addresses, missing payments, and frustrating interactions are unusual, but they're not. And, frankly, the nightmares aren't limited to would-be child support recipients. Those paying into the system, or trying to, also face challenges.
And while we, as mere citizens, can't necessarily change the system, we can do our part to bring the injustices to light. So what's your child support horror story? Take a moment to share it, along with any tips you have for breaking through the child support system's red tape, in our newest "Readers Respond" feature, Child Support Horror Stories.
Child Support Resources:
In the interest of balance, you may want to include this piece. If you think dealing with the child support enforcement agency is bad and you’re receiving it, try it when you are paying it. Even when you are not the father in the first place, but they want their pound of flesh. Just in the interest of completeness.
John,
Thanks for sharing the link. What an unfortunate situation! I do hope we have both both men and women who share their “horror stories” pertaining to child support and the system overall, as we know the injustices aren’t limited to only one or the other.
Sincerely,
Jen
I’m actually going through a bad child welfare case right now. At the moment, I’m living with my brother and his family. He has two girls ages 11 and 13. I have a girl 3 yrs, and a boy 1 yr. Child welfare called me and wanted me to bring in the children to the office. So I did. And boy did I get it! She was threatening to take the kids away because their belly buttons weren’t clean! what?? Plus now I have to take all these classes on parenting, probably anger management, and financial budgeting because I’m on TANF (Temp assistance for Needy families, or AFDC as it used to be called) so I only get $292 a month for that. And she said I don’t know how to discipline my children and I need to “modify their behaviors” However, the good news is that my children and I are card-carrying Native Americans (Cherokee to be exact, I have their cards as well as mine). I went to ICW (Indian Child Welfare) and told them the situation. She cannot legally state that she’ll take the children right then and there for the simple fact that they’re Indian Children. So, basically she was saying all that to scare me. Yeah it worked, but she won’t be able to take my children from me. She’ll have to go to court and fight with Cherokee Nation over it. And of course she’ll lose.
Good for you! It is refreshing to hear that there exists some crannies in our once free society that are beyond the tentacles of the State.
I am a single parent of two. When I left my domestic abusive boyfriend of seven years I actually thought I could breathe a sigh of relief, but then I filed for child support and the abuse seems to be continuing. For three years I have been trying to just get pass the address notification stage. I even had a default court order sent to me establishing child support and when I called to confirm I was told that it wouldn’t be enforced because he has a right to appeal. Well I didn’t understand beause he was served with papers and went into their office to say he wouldn’t contest. When I asked the social worker about it she said she was new and she would have to resend address notification papers,but no one has done that yet.
I get calls from the dead beat bragging to me that he told me I wouldn’t get a penny in child support and that I should let him come back with his family.
I was told that since I make above the minimim wage I don’t qualify for TANF, even though my outgoing bills far exceed my gross income.
So I live off of credit cards, cash advanced loans, and the bare minimum recreations (free parks). I would love to own a home but with my debt I don’t see that happening. I plead with customer srvice to keep my car from being repossed and to keep my lights on while the father of my kids has the right to do with his money as he will and his will does not say, take care of your kids.
Woke up this morning broke at the end of the month bills due two wonderful step children that I spent the last 10 years rearing that may go without A wife of the same 10 years that would be better off without my “FLORIDA CONCERNS” that has spent the entire day trying to figure out wtf happened. Got your attention well the state of florida has me shown in arrears of 40K bad dead beat dad right ? the answer freeze my account just to be clear the bank charged our account 400 bucks as a freeze fee and by the time the light bill bounces the state will have a whole 12.35 to distribute alright justice served right . well let me hit a couple of highlights one child my beautiful daughter who I havent seen in three months since her mother who by the way is an admitted drug addict hasn’t had a job in 8years been married twice investigated by dhr more times than i can even count came and took her out of school here in alabama after she dropped her off the year before because she couldn’t handle her any more side note my daughter had failed the third grade the previous year and when she was ripped from my home she was an honor role student. any who I had continued to pay my support until january of this year and then I made the mistake of thinking it would be a good ideal to stop paying my support since my daughter was in my care being taken care of and I went through the proper channels was assured by the crestview department that they were behind me 100% but when push came to shove the tripped over there self to line up in her deffense the other child I simply woke up in august of 2007 was told i was the dad owed 30k of back support to a girl I’ve not seen since I was 18 why haven’t I done anything sooner well 1st all those years ago she told me it wasn’t my child and I walked away when she married the supposed father and it wasn’t even an issue till she divorced and applied for state assistance then somebody was gona pay lucky for her x dna proved him not the father me so far DNA test has been denied twice by judge laport wich by the way signed the support order after i failed to show up for my original court date but only because an elderly lady at the other end of the county i live in signed my process paper work in other words i never new i had a court date. So in closeing sorry for the ramble but its all I got left . Because as of today i’ve lost a daughter two step children my wife my bank account my self respect and if you wonder why our prison system is full of people just like me now u know all I’ve ever tried to do was be a good father husband employee but now all i care to do is bring this unconstitutional sexist system to a grinding halt why? because it’s all i have left and if this makes sense to you I’m very sorry for u because you must be in the same boat
My ex owes me $39,888.15 for 10 yrs on 2 kids. They spend weekends,holidays,and summers with him in the course of all this. He doesnt work a legal job,but makes ends meat. Attorney General doesnt get involved as I believe they should. A.G. says I need to find his address in order for him to be served. I have found out his address on 4 different occasions. Instead of sending a Officer out to serve him they send him letters and of course,when he recieves these letters,he moves..and I am on the hunt again. I feel helpless. I could be mean and not let the kids see him,but that will only hurt my kids. Not him.
When I was 14 yrs old. my 17 yr. old “boyfriend’s” parents took legal guardianship of me. It was horrible.. if you can imagine living w/ a boy, man, this age, no bedroom of your own and no parents to protect you. Well I ran away several times was arrested and sent back to this house. I failed every yr. in high school when I turned 17 I was arrested, sent to juvy and found out I was pregnant. I was in custody for nearly a yr., must have had a miscarraige cause I did not have the baby. I was released to these people 3 months before I turned 18 and in one day impregnanted again. I wanted to have an abortion but could not because my “legal guardian” would not sign for it. With no education, self esteme, family or friends when I was 18 and 4 months, I was 7 months pregnant I married the son, It was the worse day of my life, until I had the child. Long story short after a year of marraige I was able to leave this guy who sexually, physically and emotional abused me from the time I was 14 years old. I ended up getting tricked into thinking I signed off my parental rights whaen the child was 3 yrs. old. For several yrs. I tried to see the child and was reminded of my choice to terminate my parental rights.
In 2008 I found out I have a support order and owe $40,000.00 in back child support. I had never gone to court and am shocked that I was not contacted in 10 yrs to pay this order.
I am even more shocked that an order can accrue for that long with out enforcement of any kind.
I filed for visitation rights and was basically denied because of my emotional state of mind.
I also am a grown up now and know how bad it is that this even happened to me, unfortunately, when i turned 31 the statue of limitations ran out for sex crimes, otherwise the state would press charges on the father of this child.
I am in court for contempt now. I have 3 small children that I take care of by myself, their father whom I’ve been with for 10 yrs. is in prison for domestic violence, on me.
What a nightmare, I wish I would wake up!