1. Parenting

This week, I received an E-mail from a concerned mom who is unable to pay the child support she owes. Here's what she had to say:

I am a parent who pays child support for one child and have three children at home to support and one in college. Because I live out of state, the court decided the maximum for me to pay and did not consider my other children.

I am currently disabled and have no income. Meanwhile, child support payments are still due, even while I am not able to work. How do I make it with little or no finances?

~Angela W.

Unfortunately, Angela is not alone in being a parent who owes child support and is unable to pay. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 7,256,000 custodial parents were due child support in 2003. However, only 3,290,000 (or 45.3%) received the full amount.

In many cases, such as Angela's, there is a change in circumstances that necessitates a modification of the child support order. Read the FAQ What to Do When You Can Not Afford to Pay the Child Support You Owe to learn more about changed circumstances and how to request the modification of a child support order.

Related: Finding Your Local Child Support Enforcement Office | Finding a Lawyer Online

Grall, Timothy S. "Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2003." Child Support Reports. Jul 2006. U.S. Census Bureau. 15 Nov. 2006 [http://www.census.gov/prod/2006pubs/p60-230.pdf].

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July 11, 2009 at 7:33 pm
(1) Bryan says:

i know i am not the only one with this problem.there must be many others like me. i have 3 children i pay child support on. i have worked many years and always did my best to support them. in the last few years i have suffered from injuries and ailments that have prevented me from continuing my line of work.i have done construction all my life.i have very few skills otherwise to offer the workforce.i have sever arthritis in the lower extremities making it impossible to stand for 8 hr shifts.i retained an atty that informed me that ky has what they call a clean hands law. i cannot apply for modification to my order without being current on all my pmts. i cannot become current on my pmts without being able to work. as i have been self employed for many yrs i am ineligible for disability benefits.i have a court date rapidly approaching and i have no idea where to turn.any suggestions would be greatly appreciated and can be sent to moosellini@ yahoo.com thank you

April 29, 2010 at 8:33 am
(2) Single Mom who gets NO child support says:

Bryan: it seems to me that you are stuck. There is really nothing you CAN do, other than hit up some rich relative to borrow the money. (yeah, right). If you cannot take out a loan from the bank for the back support or take cash off of a credit card(s) to pay the balance owed, you cannot file for change of circumstances. I’d suggest you use all available credit from any cards you now have or can possibly get. Pay the balance in full, then file the forms for change of circumstance. THEN you will be left with many thousands in credit card debt. You can call a credit counseling service (there are many) and have the payments lowerd and the interest lowered because you are disabled and not able to make the card payments. Your credit rating will suffer, but at least you won’t go to jail.

June 16, 2010 at 9:07 pm
(3) codes says:

k well i work at a gas station part time and make pennies and i have to pay rent insurance gas food and i made only enough where the judge said was around $25 and i said thats not enough so she jacked up to $75 well ive been struggleing i cant find another job ive quit drinking and i haven’t seen her in over a year i get to talk one every 2 weeks when she see’s my parents and the mother wont let me see her this summer cause i missed a few payments (shes too imature to talk to me) so i gotta figure out how to get a ghost money and she wont let me see my baby girl and i dont know what to do … ive done nothing wrong to hurt my daughter EVER ( the mom drank while preg didnt let me know told me she wasent preg did some dumb things with my daughter) i really dont know what to do and i feel like im gonna lose it

August 10, 2010 at 10:07 am
(4) patricia says:

I am a mother who lost my oldest a few years ago and the father has not and wont let me see my kid at all and than he filed childsupport and now i have to pay 300.00 a month for a child i cant even see even tho it is court ordered that i can i am a single mom with another child i have not been able to find a job i get medicade and foodstamps what should i do

October 27, 2010 at 9:45 am
(5) cool head says:


December 2, 2010 at 9:58 pm
(6) Gregory says:


December 2, 2010 at 10:25 pm
(7) Gregory says:

I live on disability, can’t work. Have heart failure, an enlarged heart, 25% of my heart left, heart blockage of 50%, hypertension and sleep on a machine. I live in illinois on 700.00 a month and they are trying to take my disability and put me on the street! My kids are grown and on their own! I paid child support all my life. My child support was trippled 3 times because they added thousands for interest!




December 4, 2010 at 7:34 pm
(8) Jamel says:

I have to pay $630 a month for child support the problem is i don’t have a good job that pays enough for me to live on my own. Child support takes 50% of my check leaving me with nothing. I don’t know what else to do because i cant live a normal life…

January 19, 2011 at 12:13 pm
(9) Hmm. says:

Seemed well enough to father them at the time…

June 15, 2011 at 5:06 pm
(10) Brother says:

I pay out the ass in child support here in Florida and for the longest time the system was withholding payments that were never received to the mother so now I owe tons more money that I could never repay. This isn’t child support it’s a scam and a eugenics op. Just google eugenics and your eyes will be wide open. The people at the top hate us and believe in de-population. They hate that we breed and they think of the family unit as a threat. Don’t believe me go to prisonplanet.com and discover the truth!

November 30, 2011 at 5:00 pm
(11) pissedgrandma says:

My son is in the same boat as many of u r..he has 4 kids…he cant get a decent job because of back child support…so when he does find a job he looses it because these women r always taking him to court and having him thrown in jail..how come the mothers r allowed to lay up and live off the system..but the dad has to work? How come the judge doesnt say enough is enough..my sons in jail as we speak..when he gets out of there another county will pick him up…the child support and judges are sorry. They dont care about the kids..if they did they wouldnt charge a fee for their services..and the judges they get bonuses..hows that? All these deadbeat dads as they say need help to..this is all one sided i dont care..its all for the women to hell with the kids and the dads…they dont talk to u unless u have money then everyone wants to be heard…i have made phone calls to state reps..senators…congressmen..judges…lawyers…they are all jokes…

April 25, 2012 at 9:56 pm
(12) No name says:

Going to court doesn’t help if your ex is a government employee in the county where the case is. It’s all about who you know.

July 17, 2012 at 4:07 pm
(13) michmichme says:

If a person is unable to pay their child support, how does it help to put them in jail? Every case is different and there is NO WAY OUT which even a lawyer cant help he will just take your money. I see comments about “stop having kids!” if the child is born and living how does this statement help.
This child support help which the government is offering is just making them rich and NONE of that money goes back to the children.
SO dont kid yourself because a “deadbeat” is a person who has the monies to pay and evades the government not to pay. They own property, they own boats, they have money and they can afford lawyers to protect their money.
Until people realize this is just a money makng scam which just hurts our kids and keeps fahter out of their lives forever. NO MONEY CAN REPLACE THAT. There is no money than can replace a DAD>>>
Believe me I know.
Instead work with fathers so they will stop running (FOR FEAR OF JAIL)
and give their children what they can afford.
Fathers have no place to go to get help and the courts dont allow them enough money to live to pay their child support.
WE treat sexual perpetrators better and they have more rights in court. As a matter a fact the courts are careful NOT to violate their rights.

August 21, 2012 at 7:13 pm
(14) justin stickman says:

I am a father of two. My ex cheated galore I couldn’t live in the situation anymore. I did not know I never had a chance to get my kids. she is 36 and lives with a 25 year old boyfreind. I cannot live on my own I pay 800 a month suppose to pay for insurance I am 7000 dollars in arears. I have applied 2 times for review I am suppose to pay all old bills off and also half of all activities she was unemployed for 4 years and now has a part time job. This system needs to change. parents stop using the courts and figure out the divorce yourself unless you like being a crappy person and derstroying others lives so you can say Yeah im a single mother/ father boo hoo. they are your children take care of them. the court system is a business and want your money and those awsome case workers get incentives on dollar amounts they bring in. itis their job to destroy your lifes hidden behind the words pay your child support or your a bad person. leave courts out of your families people going to court for arguing over their children is proof of failing school systems, parenting and all aspects of our society if you have to go to court so a judge who does not care about yuou or your children has to make the decision for the parents you have failed as a familiy the courts is not the only option. we all need to switch our thinking.cause all they want is for you to shut up get back in the herd and take your money that goes for both sides this is a long shot but an idea

September 11, 2012 at 2:45 am
(15) dee says:

My name is grandma I have a daughter and she has a daughter the father is now on child support he told her if she don’t take him off child support he will take her to court and take her. he just got a job at the police department and he said police will have his back he is marry to a young woman with 5 kids that’s not his age 2 5,6,8,10,and 2 of them she can only see on weekend now why is she trying to take my daughter baby is it because her husband is to father she was his daughter way be for they got marry As a grandmother I just don’t know what to do how to handle it my daughter came to me crying I said to her we would take care of it god got our back.Can you help us My number is 334-733-1876 just ask for Mrs.Dee we are in Dothan Alabama

September 28, 2012 at 10:38 am
(16) chris jackson says:

I hate to say it, but a majority of you leaving comments seem to have the intellect of a retarded mouse.Sorry to be so harsh, but it appears to be reality here. You make a child with someone, you are financially obligated to help take care of that child. Children are expensive. Think about that before sticking it in, or having it stuck in. I fortunately have custody of my two girls. My ex won’t pay child support. She claims she can’t afford it, while living in a house nearly twice as expensive as mine. Child support is what it says. It’s support for the child. If you cannot do this, then it is your responsibility to the child to find a way. I understand the health issues can create a problem. Have the support modified. However, you have to find a way to still support the child. The bottom line is and always will be that you were an active participant in making the child. That comes with responsibilities. And not the type of responsibilities you have maybe pushed away in the past with excuses. This one accepts no excuses.

October 29, 2012 at 8:10 am
(17) Tony young says:

Listen people this child support system,is just like the IRS.If you don’t pay you go to jail.You might not have a job,can’t pay the current amount,and might be a little slow following the rules.They don’t care,and the average B.S. website lawyer can’t help you neither.So open up,and wait for it.I pay 500.00 amount to a mother on welfare,section 8 and so as a b.s. job.Oh did I tell you,she has a criminal record…..So if I stucked it up,I think most of America can.I only have 3 more years…..be no relationship with my daughter,who really winning here.No One.Good luck fighting the system,that wasn’t design for you to win….

December 27, 2012 at 11:37 pm
(18) Caroline says:

You know what, to all the people that say “you seemed well enough to father them” and the like,” unless you are a virgin, shut up. Everyone has sex and everyone has errors in judgement, and you know what, maybe the lady was raped, or the man, or maybe birth control failed or maybe they just weren’t thinking ONE NIGHT. Should we all suffer our entire lives because of a rather common thing that everyone does? At least they had the child – that in itself shows love. They didn’t opt for an abortion, so who are you all to sit so high and mighty and look down your noses at people? Are you perfect? NO! I’m not saying you shouldn’t pay, or that nothing should be done, but some people are LOW INCOME, and you shouldn’t be punished for wanting/or having a child or for being poor. Yes, you should support them, but you all shouldn’t be so arrogant. Only rich people can have kids now? Hey, we are overpopulated, but you know, that isn’t exactly right (and also is against various religions, and therefore the law, now isn’t it?) Hypocrites.

January 18, 2013 at 1:32 pm
(19) MyThoughts says:

The law is for the lawless. I dont blame anyone who have kids no matter how the child was made. The point is once the child is here at no fault of his/hers, both parents are responsible for taking care of it. The father is responsible for the financial upkeep of this child and must do everything in his power to provide. As long as he is doing the best he can, no matter how little he is able to provide, the mother should work with him and not take him to court. Only in a case where the father refuses to support the child financially while capable should the mother take him to court for support. (that goes for you if u call yourself a christian. dont be afraid to take this action, its well within your right.) If a woman is absent from the child’s life and even makes more money than the man, he still has no right to ask for financial support from the woman as traditionally, that is a man’s responsibility. Mothers work with your baby daddies if they cooperate and are sincerely doing their best and not our of personal hate try to destroy their lives through the power of the law.

February 20, 2013 at 1:14 pm
(20) Us against them says:

Child support enforcement will come to light many decades from now. By then many lives will be ruined, more children will be torn from a parent, more unprepared men will Parrish, more disenfranchised people will learn they will stay disenfranchised because no one cares. I am begging parents to learn how to manage without the court. The more you run to a judge the bigger this “sin tax” will grow.

I was raised without support from my father and I now pay 50% of my net pay to my children. I should have been taught “I have no control over how I raise my children” congress does so you better do as they say.

March 5, 2013 at 9:42 am
(21) Rick says:

I think the main point regarding child support is the unfair way in which child support is calculated in the first place. The states also assume the mathematical formula to be correct and hardly ever deviate. The problem is that the formula does not take into account rent, mortgage payments and basic living expenses that were already in place before child support was ordered. This means that the high earner (usually the man) ends up not being able to support himself with 50% of his paycheck going to child support payments.

I am a father who pays 100% of his child support every month and believes that it is our responsibility to pay something but it must be reasonable.

My ex still lives at home with her parents 7 years after the divorce, took the lowest paying job she could find, pays no rent (but claims that she does to her parents) and has made no effort to better her situation because she gets $1,900. from me every month for our two daughters.

I live in northern CA and she lives in Southern CA so I only have our daughters 25% of the time which makes the CS payment so high. As soon as feasible I will relocate and petition the court for 50% custody so I can spend more time with our daughters and stop the gravy train to my ex.

The state imposed child support formula is flawed and smacks of a communist type system where the state decides what you do and when you do it.

Not the free America I learned about in school!

March 14, 2013 at 10:27 am
(22) Fenwayfan says:

I got a question…not a comment. Paid off back child support 2 weeks ago will the IRS take my tax refund again?Mass.
I live in my Mass. and I just recently paid off my back child support about a week ago.They gave me a settlement amount, basically I paid off the arrears ad they void out the interest and penalties. I haven’t filed my taxes yet wasn’t sure if there is a wait period. I would hate to pay it twice. Will they take my refund again this year? How long should I wait before I file my tax returns? Thank you in advance!

March 17, 2013 at 3:45 pm
(23) MIke says:

well for all the people who want to say that the father is responsible, i say shut up. times have changed and women want more rights and money. the court doesnt notify the other parent of a court date if they do not have an attorney. i lost custody of children this way. the mother was on drugs and lieing to her family about me. her dad has money so he paid to get het custody. i now lose half my income to support my kids. i cant live on my own without help from my family to live. child support is the dumbest thing the states hae come up with. support and visitation are not linked together. they should be to keep women from getting support but not giving the other parent a chance to see the kids. i have custody of another child and dont recieve support for him. so you tell me what do you have to say that i dont understand. you that want support need to look on the other side of the fence its not so green.

March 24, 2013 at 9:14 am
(24) alabama says:

I am married to a man with two kids to support while we have one of our own at home, he is ordered to pay $900 a month but his monthly income is only $1200, we have had it modified and it barley went down. the oldest childs mother does not work and has a husband that gives them a very comfortable life, I the step mother have to pay for birthdays or extras he wants bc my husband is broke from child support…. the youngest childs mother tricked him.. she acted like she was on birth control but wasn’t and all she could talk ab was how she wanted a baby so bad n he would tell her he didn’t want any more kids…. they break up 4 months later she pops up pregnant…. waits a yr takes him to court and he is ordered to pay her over $5000 in backed child support while she makes more money than both of us together and had a child only she wanted its one sided if she had not wanted the child she could have had an abortion give it up for adoption but no SHE wanted the child n now forces my husband to pay for a child he never wanted and never sees, its all about the mothers rights. AND IM A MOTHER I would never do that YOU HAD A CHILD WITH SOME ONE U TRICKED INTO BEING A FATHER AND NOW TRY TO FORCE HIM TO BE ONE TO A KID HE VOICED HE DIDNT WANT BF HE WAS CONCEIVED. say wat u want ab dead beat dads but theres two sides to every story and we are counting down the day til that child is 18 and he no longer owes that b*tch another dime….

March 24, 2013 at 2:02 pm
(25) DMS says:

Im from Canada. A wife to a man whose wife left him and their 3 children 12 years ago. He specifically set up the divoice papers to assist her so she could at some point make the full appropriate payments but she has never. In the time that I have been in his life this woman has owned and broken various cell plans to ge the best phone out there new laptops, designer purses and even came into a large sum of money. Never paid my husband back. Problem most visitational parent think that they dont owe the spouse they left a thing not realizing support is for the kids and support is not something you pay once you have financed your lifestyle. Support is something you owe because a) you left and b) is the first priority of your finances which then determines your lifestyle. Here in Canada as Im sure in the US if the province or state takes your kids into foster care or you put them their until you are on your feet. foster care payments are made to those parent to support the childrens needs.. How can a parent who want their kids to love and respect them even demand that from them if that parent doesnt love them enough to show them they are willing to give to the other parent for their care. My Step still love their mom because we teach love not hate.. but that love comes now with a cost as they dont want to see her and have no respect for her at all and of course she blames us even though she continually creates situation that would cause them to see through her and her lack of maturity and accountability and yet we all know that if the shoe was on the other foot and my husband owed her this money he would have been in prison by now.

March 25, 2013 at 4:42 pm
(26) ENEDAN says:

I agreed with Chris Jackson….

April 24, 2013 at 10:54 am
(27) Vmag says:

1.) The law does not effectively get involved with our sexual activities much less ability to procreate. Yet, it holds itself responsible AFTER the fact??
Example.. When was the last time you were brought in by a court or council at the age of sexual discovery and given your warning or HELP on your choices? The courts has not had an effect as our parent before we have kids…yet.. The law will pull you in AFTER you have kids and responsibilities and will definitely get in your face about it.
2.) With great power comes great responsibility.
It does take two to tango but there’s a whole bunch others responsible for that dance. Who has the greatest powers? The government? The collective concious know as ‘the people’? Religion/church? Dictators/wealthy? Or Nature itself? There’s too much to screw up in any circumstance and about time living in the era of the ‘smarts’ for not only every single person and thing as well as TIME itself not to be held accountable in a ‘smart’ way. If every single thing has to be itemized then so be it, at least we’ll uncover the truth and how it all went down.

April 30, 2013 at 3:23 pm
(28) DEATHLY ILL says:

im a 38 year old man that has just recently come down with a heart condition and has arthritis in my knees and ankles and cant work iv have filed for modification and it has taken over 2 years to even get to medeation im 15,000 dollars behind on child support and i know i will never be able to pay it so now what can i do?im short of taking my own life over this and ready to say F@#$ it.

May 15, 2013 at 2:10 pm
(29) So Behind. says:

All I can say is, for all you dads out there. Dont send yourself to an early grave over this child support. Pay what you can! Send the message to the system if your circumstances don’t allow you to live, you’re 30 and still at your parents house, you have a job, but your child support is not allowing you to live a normal life?? You got to live.. What’s life if it’s not worth living..
DO WHAT YOU CAN. They cant lock you down if you try.

May 16, 2013 at 7:54 am
(30) danny says:

i was locked up for 4 years…came home got a job and started paying my support and arrears for the past three years….my taxes was taken year after year…my license was taken also…i got my license back then bought a car…8 months later my car was taken even though i was paying my support and arrears….can something be done about this?

June 7, 2013 at 11:44 am
(31) i won says:

For all the dads out der tryin congrats on dat just keep up da god job as long as you’re trying dey can’t do nothing I’m in da same boat..I just want went too court for back pay child support and I have been paying so dey didn’t lock me up and da judge was very happy for me so da very next day I got gud news dat I won my case for disability..I heard a few ppl I know tell me dey was paying child support and once dey got on disability it stopped so I hope dats really da case so for all dats on disability da best thing too do is call a lawyer and see if dats true and if so all our worries will be ended well I’m not sure for all states but I think Virginia law does too dat imma check into dat today and I’m praying dat dats true so my nightmare can be ova…once again too all da women/men dats out der tryin keep doin wat your doin and god will favor you like he has done for me just have faith and keep praying becuz prayer do work

July 13, 2013 at 2:00 pm
(32) Mike says:

Ok. I am paying child support. Currently I am giving half my paycheck to child support. I dont have a decent job. I make little money. My employer doesnt provide medical coverage. I am receiving medical insurance through public assistance. I am being taken to court now to provide medical insurance for my daughter. She is currently receiving medical coverage through public assistance too. What is gonna happen here? What can the courts order me to do
here? I am struggling to live as it is.

July 14, 2013 at 1:34 am
(33) cal's mom says:

I agree with the “avoid court” person. Here’s my story: I am a mom who got very sick unexpectedly, so my ex filed for full custody, seeing his chance to get the kids and out of the support payments. i had already given up alimony to get the kids, which they wanted too. Unable to work full time and studying law for lack of lawyer funds brought my income down, while he dragged it out 9 months of delays and lied about me the whole time. By the time we got to the actual hearing I was sick and broke and the court gave him all 3. My teenager told court officials he wanted to stay with me, and they said no. On the 2nd attempt in 6 months, he succeeded in killing himself, at 17, because the judge and GAL and other hired “professionals” didn’t listen to him, me, or my other 2 kids. Dad screwed mom, and now I only have 2 kids, which now the courts won’t even let me call or see without paying a supervisor, while ordering child support to him, while i have no job,steady income, health benefits, and the longer this goes on, the poorer I get. child support was set so high they guaranteed i couldn’t pay it. its revenge. and they took my son and pretty much, let him die, did nothing to stop the next suicide attempt. insane.

July 14, 2013 at 11:08 am
(34) fusko says:

i’m married my husband pays child support and it’s like child support doesn’t care if he has three more children to provide for plus a wife hisself and bills on top of that. thankgod he’s done paying back the back payments as of last year the judge was a little nice and didn’t make him pay from the time his son was born that part was a blessing I feel as if how do u wait bout ten years and then out of no where boom there’s the papers because ur money hungry and don’t even spend the money on him she just get high and drunk her and her other son father that’s some real bs

July 17, 2013 at 6:04 pm
(35) Derek says:

The American Judicial System is corrupt. Judges have to much power over the lives of families and children. Children have no rights, the parents have no rights. The system is completely controlled by Attorneys and Judges. There is no decision based upon whether the parent is a good parent or not, it is only based upon numbers. Children are nothing but a number,,, I agree with the poster saying not to have children this is very true in this age, it’s not the 50s anymore. I told my Son who just went into the Military to Serve our once beloved Country,,, to avoid getting a woman pregnant, because the day you do your life is over, She can cheat on you, do what she wishes, take the child, then file for child support and get your Military benefits for a up 1/3 of her life. The US is not the beautiful country it was 50 years ago, it’s not the land of the free, now it the land of the slaves.

July 29, 2013 at 4:29 pm
(36) Common Sense says:

Does anyone understand what it means to be an adult? You make choices whether wise or not and you deal with the consequences. You do not run and hide under your covers and hope the situation goes away. These poor children, deprived of not only financial support and ways to better educate them for their own future ( children learn from the example set before them, which would be their own parents and how they handle their own life situations) but also deprived of moral and ethics. If you decide to have children, would you not want better for them than you had yourself? When you decide to have children it is not about YOU anymore. If you wanted it to be about YOU, than be the wiser and make different decisions. Why have more children if you cannot support yourself. You are the creator of your own misery! BTW I am a single, happy, mother of three and I have done without child support. If it meant I had to work longer shifts or take on another job, I did it, all while getting an education. I have had back surgery and I did not run to the nearest SS office looking to be placed on disability. This is not about the government, this is about lazy people who make unwise decisions and mess of their lives, and cry when they are held responsible to do right.

July 30, 2013 at 9:50 am
(37) Anon says:

If you are not responsible to take care of a child for yourself then don’t have one. As everyone has said it is your responsibility, don’t expect to have someone else take care of your child even if they helped in creating that child; doing so makes you irresponsible.

August 2, 2013 at 4:04 pm
(38) heather says:

I have been with my boyfriend for two years, he pays child support for his seven yr old daughter. while he was with her mom he payed for them to live and bought her a car, the whole time she was cheating on him with every guy she came into contact with!! after they broke up she started getting cash assistance and now he is paying that off on top of he child support. she also has another kid with the guy she is with now. they both have jobs and live in a better place then we do. my boyfriend doesnt make enough money to live on his own so i pay the rent. his daughter has all these unnecessary things that a seven yr old does not need!! he is so hurt and upset about all this stuff and not having any money that he doesnt even want to get married or have any more kids. this is very stressful for us! i feel like their is no hope for our future.. not to mention we live in a tiny, old apartment and if we could afford to live in a bigger and cleaner place we could have his daughter come over more often. it really sucks that they give you no chance to be able to live on your own or even get joint custody of the child. im positive they make more money than we do…. WTF!!!! its so frustrating because i feel like i am being punished for his past. i want to get married and have children and i know he would want to as well if we could make a decent living but obviously neither of us want to do those things when we can barely take care of ourselves.. i wish their was something we could do.

August 29, 2013 at 6:36 pm
(39) matt says:

Hi I am a single non custodial parent that has been issued to pay child support. I make about 1728.00 before taxes are taken out. However, when I was removed out of the apartment with my exwife, I had to get another place and vehicle. In doing so I pay alone just in a place to live and car close to 2000.00 a month. Thats not including all the other bills. My question is, if I am ordered to pay so much child support 450 a month along with all medical bills and day care for my son, can she live off the state and not work? She doesn’t have her own home, the van she is driving I bought, she collects food stamps and medical from the state. She also doesn’t know if the place ahe is living is going to hold up. Can I be awarded custody, and is it fair that I have to pay someone to do nothing?

September 5, 2013 at 5:27 pm
(40) confused & upset says:

I have a male friend that was married for a few years & the relationship had problems due to drugs & interference/pressure on his wife by friends family.After they had their 3rd child,she threw him out. More issues went from there, but one day she took the kids & just vanished.He has not see,heard,or even seen a picture of his kids in almost 14years.He was working & paid child support but the loss of the kids weighed heavy on him & he ended up getting fired & was homeless with no income for about 10 years.What can he do concerning this? Is there any way to deal with what he owes?

October 3, 2013 at 6:30 am
(41) Lmendez says:

I pay child support i dont mind it its my responsibility but my EX does nothing to help she dont work go to school just parties all night and sleeps all day when she needs more money she calls and calls and calls i pay through the enforcement system so i know im ok but like ppl say if i was man enough to have a child i should be man enough to pay my dues… well i am but it takes two to tango and she is not doing anything to help provide for my child but the system wont force her to help herself to better my childs future. i think that part should change. i am not a deadbeat dad i am not behind on anything. i just dont think its fair to always accuse the person without knowing the situation.

October 4, 2013 at 9:47 am
(42) sunshinegrl says:

I would like to say child support is NOT about the children! they make money off the support that is suppose to go to the children. I also want to say whoever made it a law that you will have your license suspended indefinitely if you do not pay support is stupid. Most people need a car to find work to get a job to be able to pay support and live on themselves, taking away someones license just makes the problem at hand worse. THERE ARE NO JOBS OUT THERE…HELLO!!!!!!!! AND I might add if you have a felony no matter how many years(maybe even decades old) you will not be chosen for the very limited few jobs there are out there in this horrible economy. Why on earth should a obligor be forced to pay almost their entire check to support their kids while the obligee(mostly women) gets to sit on their Butts and collect money from child support(sometimes even public assistance) AND food-stamps but they are not ordered to pay the same amount as the obligors? who holds them to a higher standard? the obligor could be starving and homeless but the obligees get food-stamps, and cash assistance and mostly does not have to follow the same standards. the child suffers(not every obligor uses the child support on the child some use it to party, or move from place to place in drug neighborhoods) the child does not get to see the obligor in most cases due to the obligee not allowing them to see the children with causing some sort of drama. Child support should be trying to help these obligors find jobs and affordable housing so they CAN pay child support. I SAY THIS WORLD NEEDS A WAKE UP CALL.

October 7, 2013 at 9:45 pm
(43) CHRIS says:


October 27, 2013 at 9:47 am
(44) Allan says:

There are 2 kinds of people that dont pay child support. Those who choose to and those who cant. I currently have chosen to pay. I suffer I am 49 years old and have to live with my elderly parents so I can pay my child support. It is very true no cares about your life as a father. You are to go broke live poor starve it does not matter, Dont pay they take away your drivers license making it that much harder to work. Dont pay more they put you in jail. So what you cant get a job to afford to live on. You go to jail. You are just screwed. I wish it were just a simple matter of making money and paying my bills. It is not, I can not afford to do every obligation I have. I can not find a job where I can afford to do this. My life is crap. I can not believe their are people who think it is just as easy as finding a job. I am fortunate that I have a great relationship with my girls we love each other and enjoy the short time we have together. We dont need a way to accuse people who want to pay of being bad people cause they cant. We need advocates that can help so that the parent who pays can pay a reasonable amount and have a basic life.
Not living with the fear of going to jail cause they do not earn enough in this tough economy. Even if I can pay my child support over the net 11 years I will be left broke and have no retirement money. My life is just screwed. It is so sad to see how many people just dont care infact instead of any kind of sympathy I am met with scorn.

November 7, 2013 at 5:39 pm
(45) Vrworld says:

I am pretty much thinking and going through the same thing as you Allan, my life, freedom is over and I fear because I am goingt o be laid off I will face jail,I constantly cant sleep, barely eat (what little food I have) to keep up with my autistic sons childsupport payments. I dnt blame, argue, fight with anyone, I ve always been good to people never broke the law, but the devil really has it in for me. I won’t run, hide , if jail is my fate beacuse of this then it is my fate, As an otaku I wouldnt survivr 24 hours in prison, I fear i could become insane whatever that really even is. If I was to say to someone as a life lesson the biggest lesson, DO NOT TRUST HER STAY SINGLE <BE GAY< ANYTHING BUT DONT TRUST HER EVER.

December 15, 2013 at 6:28 pm
(46) LRek says:

If only u knew the future. I married a girl 13 years ago & allowed her to be a stay at home wife. I was building a business had tons of enegy & worked my butt off. We wanted a big family…we had three children. I supported everybody for 13 years. My wife had a college degree she never used. The deal was if I ever got sick we would work it out. I also had a huge life ins. policy & private disability. Well at 42 my health declined drastically. I had horrific insomnia, horrible exhaustion, & other ailments. I went to 20 drs. to finally get the diagnoses of chronic lymes. 3 drs & a lab confirmed this. Guess what…my wife leaves with kids. Was I a perfect husband..no, but I did nothing divorce worthy. I’m getting some money from my di(my health has declined badly in last couple years…chronic lyme is very hard to treat). My di will run out in months…my wife knows it & wants to get me at the higher number. I’ve worked some, but in my business u have to be at 100%. We r going to a mediator, but everybody tells me I should get an attorney. My bank accounts is drained…credit cards maxed, bankruptcy a real possibility. I used to make six figures & had a happy family. I now won’t see my children like I want(if I fight wife for 50/50 she will paint me out to be unfit because of all the meds I take). She will also say I made threats etc. Oh to know 15 years ago what I know now.I don’t know how I will make alimony & cs when di runs out. I love my children dearly &don’t regret having them..just with this women. The moral…don’t marry an american woman, they can’t be trusted.

December 30, 2013 at 10:26 am
(47) ohio says:

My other half has a child in another state the mother went in front of a judge that she works with as well as has a friendship outside of work with and she was awarded over $900 a month in support when the father never ever made that kind of money to owe that much per month then after not paying she calls him up and agrees to $300 a month he pays her directly she finally lets him see his daughter after several years of not we bent over backwards for her driving hours away to het her and then all of a sudden no contact again. She transfered the case to child support and was having the same judge look and the case but he knew his legal right this time which was there was a conflict of interest with that judge and he won so another judge took over the case now saying he owed a lot less per month even with the agreement that she had made of 300 a month prior they still said before judgement was changed he owed the 600 difference those months which is insane anyways isnt there anything he can do to proof that the judge should have never heard that case feom the very beginning and try to get the arrears changed? He has proof that he never made that much… she now gets all his income tax and sits pretty every year….

January 29, 2014 at 6:17 pm
(48) ok says:

CONDOMS!!!! BIRTHCONTROL!!!!! NO SEX!!!! if only you people thought about all this before you unloaded!! just saying I have 2 kids and they are taken care of by both there dad and I we are not together but the children are our #1!!! you are grown to make them you need to be grown to take care of them and these moms their talking about you choose them not us not make babies if you cant take care of them!!!

February 1, 2014 at 6:45 am
(49) Kathy says:

I am an observer to another one of those terrible stories, where the non-custodial parent was stuck with an extremely unreasonable amount of child support in relation to his income. It is a long story and just telling this long story, does no good and it is a very complicated story. What I want to know is what can be done about it.

When she was signed up with Child Support Enforcement he did ask for a reconsideration of the amount. Child Support Enforcement is so backed up it takes a very long time before they do the reconsideration and she conveniently stopped using their services before it was done. She and the child live int the state that the divorce took place in, so as you would expect their courts and laws control the child support and custody arrangements. She doesn’t allow him to see or even talk to his child.

The child support amount was never set correctly and at this time it is far in excess of his monthly income. He is near retirement age and has become pretty disabled in the last few years. He has amassed a huge debt of back child support due to the amount that was set and was still paying more than he could afford to pay as long as he had a job, but now he has no regular job and very little income. He doesn’t even have the money for basic living expenses and his mother just paid off over $3000 in back rent because he was sending every dime that he could for child support. He has no money to pay a lawyer. He is on SNAP benefits to buy food and doesn’t even have the money for a haircut or a belt, both of which he sorely needs. Now I am wondering can he still use child support enforcement in her state to get this reconsideration done even though she is no longer using their services? Does anyone know? The matter was dropped a couple of years ago, when she stopped using their services (conveniently shortly before the reconsideration would have taken place), but can he use their services to get an amount set that is fair and equitable?

February 20, 2014 at 2:10 pm
(50) Shirley Williams says:

My son who is 41 has been incarcerated over the last 21 years off and on, doing 2-3 year time periods and out for a few months before reurning because of drugs and not following his probation rules. He has a 21 year old daugther who’s mother received Public Assistance the full 21 years. Now that he has been out, taking is classes and going to meetings he’s able to get a day job here and there. He owes $152,000.00 in back child support so whenever he gets his pay, they deduct 55% to go directly to the mother for back child support. The judge says that she can forgive him of some or all of it but she won’t because she still does’nt work and needs the money. He has tried to get his payments modified but the state of Illinois says that he doesn’t owe the state anything but he does owe her. Since she collected Public Aide for the child, why is she getting paid twice? If anything, shouldn’t it go to the State of Illinois?

February 25, 2014 at 9:23 am
(51) Kat says:

I get so sick of the “if you can’t pay then don’t have one”. If we knew what it would be like, trust me… we never would have! I tell you what! I’m teaching my son to not trust a woman from birth! He’s 6 now and already knows.

February 28, 2014 at 10:57 pm
(52) Brian says:

The child support system doesn’t monitor what is bought with child support money. That fact makes it seem like your loosing to the court system because if you knew what your child wanted or needed then the 300 a month would come to good use but when your exwife uses the money on her selfish greedy self and you know she plans to live on it while enjoying living with your blessed child enjoying life what do you think.. the court system makes money, the lawyers bank, the payment systems cash in, the law enforcers have money for christmas, and if the economy is bad you have to stray from your professional resume and you might feel like theres no hope. you know the people on the outside looking in love to hate because they would hate to be in your shoes -the man that sold his soul to the devil.

April 4, 2014 at 3:56 pm
(53) Patrick says:

I think the Child support in this country needs reform.
I had divorced my wife after 6 months of marriage.
not my fault! she ran back to her Ex.
My daughter was 1 year of age when I was introduced to the Florida department of Child Support.
The courts did not care or did not want to hear any stories why I was late or why I skipped a few months.
At 23 years of age I had to quit working for Pepsi Cola because my check would be reduced to nothing.
while the TV’s got bigger and bigger at my Ex wife’s house when I picked up my kid for visitation.
My money was not going where it was suppose to go!!
I quit Pepsi Cola and went to Bar tending school.
I went to court to get a modification because in the hospitality business you get paid minimum wage on the books.
I lived off my tips for the next 18 years!
It pissed off my Ex wife because she knew I had a Bartending Job making 1000.00 a week.
Did I claim all my tips while my kid was growing up?
You figure it out.
All I can tell you if felt nice to buy a much bigger TV then my Ex Wife had.
And it was nice to buy things for my daughter that she NEEDED.
and it was nice to pay my child support on time.
The reduced amount of course.
Hope this helps.

April 12, 2014 at 3:40 pm
(54) Richards says:

Your missing a few points that I need to add. This applies to me, and I’m sure there are others that have the same problem. I have a limited budget and when I was married, I had 5 children. We lived within the budget, I spent about $200 on each child to maintain each month and we did quite well. My exwife created so much drama during my divorce. She made false accusations that I abused her, and when that didn’t work, she claimed I abused the children though an injunction. Problem is, I haven’t been living in the same state for over 5 months when she filed the Injunction. She lied to the state, and gave them a fake address, so Florida extended her injunction for 3 months. Never mind the fact I haven’t had contact with my children already for 2 years, she extended it legally with an injunction. Then the day before the injunction, she drops it because she knew it was made falsely. Then she contacts a psychiatrist to counsel the children about all the abuse I supposedly did to them. Perfect example of Parental Alienation here. The court? They could care less. If they really cared about the children, they would of taken the children away from her. Florida being a shared parental state , but the judge rules I can only see the children through supervised visits. My crime?

April 12, 2014 at 3:41 pm
(55) Richard says:


I spanked the children and when we went to the judge, it had been over 5 years since I last spanked them. Mind you, 5 kids, maybe 3-5 spankings in one year. My dear exwife? Spanked them more often…. Thats all they had to go on, I spanked the kids at one time in my life, so now I get supervised visits. Now on to my pay, I have lost 60% of my pay to child support and alimony, because thats the max the judge could take from me. I’m suppose to get communications with the kids. remember I told you that my exwife is a parental alienator? Its been over a year and I haven’t spoken to my children on the phone 1 time. Now I am comtemplating stop paying child support and join the other half of the country locked into this screwed up system. The state of Florida could care less about me living in poverty, while my exwife never has to work a day in her life. BTW, I pay $1600 for child support and $1000 for alimony. My exwife works, and makes $1300 before taxes each month. What is my take home? $1200… I see all over the internet that the statistics say men fair better after a divorce. This society is so screwed up and that is a complete lie. I think I will start sending my ex $1 each month and see how long I last. See ya in jail. At least it will be free room and board and society will pay for my living expenses. Good Riddance….

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